10 Relationship Truths That Are Tough Pills to Swallow

Everyone makes time for what they truly want. I’ve met a busy divorced banker dad with three kids who still found time for our dates—and also a lazy unemployed guy who never had time for me but always hung out with his friends. If someone says they don’t have time, let it go—if you mattered, they’d make time.

“They lived happily ever after”—we heard this at every fairy tale’s end as the couple walked into the sunset. In reality, that dreamy, rose-colored phase lasts just a few months before the real work begins. Relationships need effort if you want them to last because you have to learn how to love each other long-term.

No matter what you do, you can’t force someone to love you. Love isn’t earned or won—it either is or isn’t there. (You can be the juiciest peach, but if they don’t like peaches, it won’t matter.) Don’t blame yourself for how someone loves you; instead, learn to find love where it’s truly available.

If someone seems “too good to be true,” chances are, they are.

If you’re a successful, well-earning woman, finding a partner can be tougher. Many men—at least those who aren’t looking to take advantage—feel insecure if their partner earns more or holds a higher position. From experience, this has always been the case.

Open relationships or marriages—despite what some claim—usually don’t work. Often, the man suggests it, imagining he can sleep with whoever he wants while his partner waits faithfully at home. Usually, the partner retaliates, and things spiral. I’ve even seen a wife who was hurt by the idea but agreed with a smile—then immediately slept with her husband’s best friend. The marriage and friendship ended.

There’s no such thing as a perfect partner, so don’t wait for one. That idealized dream person won’t just show up in your life. Expecting that will only lead to disappointment.

This might be unpopular, but if you’re a woman who won’t date men under 180 cm (about 5’11”), don’t be surprised if some men only date women under 65 kg (about 143 lbs). It’s fair—and actually favors women since men can’t grow taller, but women can lose a few pounds.

It’s human to blame others for relationship failures, but if your relationships keep ending bitterly, maybe the issue lies with you. Bet you haven’t thought of that—you were the only constant.

Your happiness isn’t your partner’s responsibility. We often say our partner is our other half, but you’re whole on your own and can be happy in a relationship by focusing on yourself. It’s unhealthy to expect all your validation from someone else—your happiness comes from within.

Cover photo: HayDmitry/depositphotos.com, photos: istockphoto.com