Men rarely enjoy being on the receiving end of their own behavior. So I decided to run a little experiment — and simply started treating the men around me the exact same way they routinely treat women. The results were… illuminating.
The "female doctor" problem
I work in a medical environment, and it drives me up the wall that male colleagues constantly say things like "the female anesthesiologist" or "a lady radiologist" — as if their gender is the most notable thing about them. So I started doing it back. Now I casually drop lines like, "Oh, Dr. Peterson? Yeah, he's the new male endocrinologist," or "Don't forget — the male cardiologist is covering tomorrow." The confusion on their faces is genuinely delightful.
Wedding invitations
For a while, I addressed every wedding invitation to the woman in the couple. Every man was simply listed as "plus one." Nobody said anything out loud, but the energy in the room shifted noticeably every single time.
George Clooney's husband
I love that Amal Clooney — one of the world's most respected human rights lawyers — is still routinely introduced by men as simply "George Clooney's wife." So when a group conversation turned to Justin Timberlake's drink-driving arrest, I paused theatrically, then said: "Justin Timberlake... oh right! Jessica Biel's husband!" Every woman in the room smiled. Every man looked deeply confused. (Honorable mentions: Ben Affleck — Jennifer Lopez's ex-husband. David Beckham — Victoria's husband. The list goes on.)
The Olympics, but make it gendered
During the Olympics, I started doing something that felt oddly satisfying. Whenever women's hockey or football was on, I'd just say "hockey" or "football." But whenever men's events came on, I made a point of specifying — loudly and cheerfully: "Oh, the men's curling final is on!" or "Did a man just break the long jump world record?" It took about two days before someone noticed.
Are you planning to go back to work?
When our most notoriously sexist colleague announced the birth of his child, I waited until we were all together — then sweetly asked him how long he'd be taking off to stay home with the baby, and whether he was planning to return to work at all, or whether he'd be dedicating himself fully to raising the child. The silence was magnificent.
"For a man, he did pretty well"
My uncle once proudly told me he'd specifically requested a male clerk somewhere because he wanted things to "go smoothly." So the next time I had my car serviced, I reported back to him: "The mechanic was actually really competent — impressive, honestly, for a man." He opened his mouth. Nothing came out. Progress.
What a great dad!
I got tired of everyone falling over themselves to praise my brother as an "amazing dad" every time he changed a nappy. So the next time we visited and his wife was the one doing the changing, I made a point of going around the room and enthusiastically telling everyone how lucky my brother was to have such a "hands-on mum" at home. Everyone looked at me like I'd said something strange. Which was exactly the point.
Traffic, obviously
I was driving my father somewhere when we hit a long traffic jam. I glanced over at him, rolled my eyes slowly, and said: "Ugh. Male drivers." He didn't know what to do with that.
Love your blouse
At the office, I've made a habit of complimenting male colleagues on their "blouses" whenever they wear button-down shirts. When they bristle, I apologize sweetly and explain that I just don't know much about men's fashion. Works every time.
A bouquet for the birthday boy
My team leader has a talent for making women feel inferior — it's practically his hobby. So on his birthday, I arrived with a large, extravagant bouquet of pink flowers and presented it to him in front of the entire office. His face turned pinker than the blooms. He didn't know whether to say thank you or disappear into the floor.
Smile more!
The security guard at our building has a habit of telling women arriving early in the morning to "smile more." One day I turned around and said, "You first." When he smiled, I nodded approvingly and said: "Good boy," then walked off. He hasn't asked me to smile since.
Holding the door
My neighbor is the kind of man who makes every interaction feel like a power move. My solution? I always hold the door open for him. I wave him through first. I'm relentlessly courteous. I can see it irritates him enormously. I find it very entertaining.
"A man probably designed this"
Whenever something I'm using is poorly designed, badly made, or just inexplicably frustrating, I say it loudly and clearly: "This was definitely designed by a man." It's become something of a personal motto.
Can't be that hard
My sister-in-law was complaining in front of several male relatives about how expensive her last oil change had been. I jumped in helpfully: "Next time, we'll just do it ourselves. If the guys can manage it, it can't be that complicated." The silence that followed was very satisfying.
The point was never to be cruel — it was to make something visible. And sometimes, the most effective mirror is the one people don't see coming.
