Who would have guessed we’d rely less on chance and more on AI algorithms to find that special someone? Staying up-to-date means listening to the experts. Here are four research-backed relationship tips to keep in mind when looking for love in 2023.
Craft Your Dating Profile Thoughtfully
When it comes to online dating, experts agree: an authentic, high-quality profile is your golden ticket. Luckily, creating one isn’t complicated. Dating expert Blaine Anderson says online dating is a skill anyone can learn.
Anderson’s three simple, powerful tips to optimize your dating profile:
- Invest in great photos. We often underestimate the power of quality images that highlight our best features. Since appearance is the first thing potential matches notice, show your best self.
- Market yourself well. Don’t let app prompts dictate how you present your life and personality. Think about what you want potential partners to know about you. Be original!
- Don’t take rejection personally. Dating setbacks don’t define your worth as a partner. They just mean it’s time to try new approaches—like a different app or updating your profile.
Find Your Intellectual Match
We often overvalue looks, financial success, and social status in potential partners. While these play a role, intellectual compatibility usually matters more.
“Intelligence doesn’t fade like looks do,” explains dating expert Emma Hathorn. “Conversations with a partner whose mind fascinates you are far more engaging.”
How to find your intellectual equal:
- Don’t rely solely on credentials or job titles. Seek someone truly on your wavelength. The time and effort spent finding a partner who keeps up with you is worth it.
- Dive into like-minded communities. Clarify what you’re looking for, reconnect with your college circle, or join an interesting club or group. Casting too wide a net can backfire.
- Use technology to your advantage. Move beyond generic approaches and get to know dating app profiles personally. Be authentic, clear, and original about what you want in a partner.
Mindfulness Can Unlock Your Relationship’s Potential
We often limit mindfulness to meditation or mental wellness. But research shows it can boost our romantic lives. Therapist Tasha Seiter explains that interpersonal and sexual connection with your partner creates a positive feedback loop in the relationship. Her research highlights five elements of mindful relationships:
- Presence
- Emotional awareness
- Non-reactivity during conflict
- Compassion for your partner
- Compassion for yourself
Developing these qualities in yourself and your relationship takes effort, time, and trust—but it can truly pay off.
Experimentation Is Key to Lasting Relationships
People are happy in long-term relationships because they satisfy our needs for security, trust, and stability. But do we always have to give up sexual novelty and exploring new connections to maintain our primary relationships?
Sex researcher and NYU professor Zhana Vrangalova says not necessarily. Her study on the Ashley Madison dating site shows society is slowly moving toward negotiated non-monogamy, or “open relationships.”
Inviting a “third” into a monogamous relationship isn’t for everyone. In such cases, Vrangalova encourages focusing not on non-monogamy but on the spirit of experimentation.
This can include:
- Openly sharing your sexual fantasies. Whether it’s kink, role-play, power dynamics, or group fantasies, just sharing your desires can spark excitement.
- Enjoying erotic content together. This can help couples safely explore fantasies in a virtual space.
- Attending “play parties.” This can normalize others’ presence in a space once reserved for just the two of you. Simply observing can be an eye-opening experience for your relationship.
