Bad Boys vs. Nice Guys
A few years ago, a study (DeBuse 2016) asked women about four types of men: the bad boy, the nice guy, the hero, and the loser. Women described the personality traits that define each type. Bad boys and heroes were seen as dominant, a trait not linked to the other two types. Nice guys and heroes were viewed as the most supportive partners.
Heroes and bad boys were thought to be the most attractive, losers were not associated with this trait, and nice guys fell somewhere in between based on looks.
The study also revealed how women see these types as sexual partners and companions. Heroes came out on top as both attractive lovers and supportive partners. Losers were considered the least desirable, with bad boys and nice guys falling in between.
It also showed which personality traits in women attract each type. Conflict-avoidant women were less drawn to supportive men like heroes and nice guys. Anxious women preferred dominant men—heroes and bad boys. Women with higher self-esteem chose nice guys and avoided bad boys. Sexually open women favored bad boys and tended to avoid nice guys.
Another study (McDaniel 2005) explored why women date certain types. It turns out women often choose based on current needs, not just instinctive attraction. When seeking a loyal partner for deep conversations and future support, they went for the nice guy. For fun and casual connections, bad boys were the go-to. Most women clearly sought nice guys for long-term relationships.
How Our Long-Term Plans Shape Partner Choice
To sum it up: women attracted to bad boys tend to value looks over emotional support or long-term commitment. That’s because they themselves aren’t planning for a lasting relationship with such a partner. These women often struggle with trust, possibly due to low self-esteem, so they don’t expect a stable connection. Instead, they choose excitement and adventure with an attractive man, even if it’s only short-lived and lacks commitment.
Women who pick the nice guy type prioritize emotional commitment. They have higher self-esteem, and sexual attraction or looks aren’t their top priorities. Unlike those drawn to bad boys, they seek a reliable, supportive partner for the long haul—even if he’s not the most striking or traditionally masculine.
Women who prefer the hero type want it all: dominance, charm, sex appeal, and support. They’re confident, with healthy self-esteem, though sometimes a bit anxious. They crave passionate love but also need emotional backing. Studies show these women tend to be popular with men themselves, so they’re more likely to find their match.
Maybe there’s some fairness in all this. When we compromise in dating, we win and lose in equal measure when we meet our desire. But those who want it all in a partner often have a better chance of getting it.
