“It did me good not seeing each other for a year” – is a common phrase when couples take a break in marriage. But is a break a prelude to a breakup, or can it actually restart the relationship?
Happy Ending
My wife and I agreed to take a short break while she went on vacation with her girlfriends and I went with my buddies. The rule was to have fun but keep it to ourselves. I returned home with a heavy heart, unsure how to tell her what happened, but luckily not only did I meet someone serious, she did too. The divorce went smoothly, and I’m proud to say we’re still friends today.
A Fresh Perspective
After seven years together, my husband and I felt our relationship was worn out. We barely had sex, every day felt the same, we fought over little things, and stopped enjoying each other’s company. I wanted to travel, he got a job abroad, so we agreed to say goodbye for a year and see if we’d find our way back to each other.
Well, we did find our way back—or rather, we never really let go. We messaged almost daily, knew everything about each other, occasionally flirted over chat and video calls, and laughed that our sex life actually improved despite being on opposite sides of the world. I was with him in spirit through the challenges and successes of his new job, and he was with me through Cambodia’s ruins and New Zealand’s mountains. In the last months, we couldn’t wait to reunite. After a year apart, being together felt like when we first met: pure love and rose-colored clouds. That’s been two years now, and if we get worn out again, we’ll take another break. Maybe that’s the secret to lasting love?
Thanks, But No Thanks
My ex-husband suggested a break but wanted to keep it a secret. Of course, he just wanted to date around without consequences.
Betrayed
My wife asked for some time alone to “think things through and sort out her feelings.” Foolishly, I agreed without a word and waited with open arms months later. Then I found out she had a lover the whole time, but was too unsure to leave the marriage. That great love faded in four months, and she came back to me. I don’t understand how she thought it wouldn’t come out. If she’d been honest, she would have gotten half the assets in a divorce. After the lies, I hired a tough lawyer and fought hard to limit what she got.
In the End…
My husband suggested taking a break. I wanted to sit down and talk through our problems, but who am I to argue with his wisdom? He proposed a three-month break, and I had to accept when he packed and moved out. I tried twice to reach out but got no reply—strict “no contact” during the break. Right on time, he called after three months to say he’d packed and was heading home. I was speechless. After three months of silence, I met a guy named Balázs, and we had our third date that very day. I hadn’t planned to meet anyone; he just walked into my life. That was three years ago, and I’m still with Balázs. Meanwhile, my ex is stuck—like Rachel and Ross on Friends—believing I “cheated” during the break.
Helpful Insights
We married in our twenties and now we’re both 55. We love each other and don’t want the other out of our lives, but we both agree constant living together makes a happy relationship almost impossible to sustain. At least, that’s how we see it, so we need breaks. Three months, six months, even a whole year apart—but we always find our way back. This works for us, with breaks and a few brief adventures. It keeps our relationship fresh and light, never restrictive or suffocating.
