Do you know a guy who’s embarrassed by his partner?
Progression
When we first got together, we both worked at a restaurant—she was a hostess, I was a waiter. It was a great love, and we married quickly. Ten years have passed since. I completed college by correspondence and several courses, so now I have a good position at a multinational company. She never aimed for much in life; these days she cleans with a friend and spends her free time watching TV shows. I didn’t bring her to the company Christmas party. I told my boss my wife was sick because I didn’t want to embarrass myself because of her.
Laughter
She laughs in a funny way that I once found cute, but over the years it’s become annoying—and now I can’t stand hearing it. When we go out and she lets out that high-pitched giggle, I just want to hide under the table.
Class
Let me be clear from the start: my wife is a wonderful woman, and I still love her. When we got together, my family and friends were surprised because she came from a very different world than mine. We’re city intellectuals; she grew up on a farm and is a bold girl. My mom warned me it wouldn’t end well, and I was offended that she looked down on my love—but sadly, she was right.
Every Sunday family lunch and friend gathering is awkward. My wife is resourceful but has very limited general knowledge. At one dinner, it turned out she’d never heard of the Tiananmen Square massacre, and I had to explain it to her in front of everyone. Recently, my friends were talking about their vacation in Namibia, and she admitted she’d never heard of that country. Over the weekend, she asked what “RSVP” meant on my brother’s wedding invitation, and I just told her to "Google it." It hurt her feelings, and I felt ashamed. Now that the initial love euphoria is fading, her ignorance feels more and more frustrating.
Wellness
There are four of us best friends, and all of us married stunning women. I’m not exaggerating when I say my wife, Bea, was the most beautiful. Now we all have kids, and Bea is the only one who hasn’t gotten her figure back. I don’t mean she’s not 54 kg (119 lbs) like when I married her, but she’s carrying a loose thirty pounds. When we go on vacation or to wellness trips together, I feel embarrassed that my wife has gotten so much bigger compared to the other slim wives. I know it makes me sound like a jerk, but I can’t help it. Why can’t she lose weight?! I encourage her with every medical and diet help available, but she just doesn’t care.
Manners
My girlfriend Cinti is a sweetheart but a true "no filter" personality. She says everything on her mind. That’s good in some ways—she’s honest, open, and doesn’t play games—but sometimes it’s painfully awkward. My friend’s sister-in-law has let herself go a bit, and Cinti casually offered to take her to reformer Pilates. My friends have been trying for a baby for a long time, and it’s a known painful taboo for them. Cinti lasted twenty minutes before she started preaching about some Swiss miracle clinic they call the “baby factory.” She also offered to take my mom to her dermatologist who could “easily remove that skin tag on her forehead.” She has zero tact, and when I point it out, she has no idea what’s wrong with her behavior.
Neglected
My once attractive wife has become sloppy. Twenty-centimeter (8 inch) roots, bitten nails, no makeup, and sweatpants—that’s her look now. I don’t go anywhere with her because it’s embarrassing how she looks. Yet she’s still beautiful.
Cultural Differences
I met her in Thailand when I bought mango juice from her on the street. Her beauty, kindness, and—positively—simplicity swept me off my feet. After two years of dating, I married her and she moved home with me, but the magic didn’t last. In three years, she hasn’t learned a single word of Hungarian, and her weak English hasn’t improved either. She can’t communicate with my family or friends and isolates herself completely. She cries at night because she misses her homeland and family and can’t find her place here. My brother says it feels like she’s our housekeeper, not my wife—and he’s right.
Chatterbox
“Know-it-all” fits my wife perfectly. When she speaks in company, I start looking for an escape because I know she’s about to spout off about something she knows nothing about.
Pretentious
When we met, I saw an elegant lady; now she’s an unbearable snob who’s never satisfied and always complains. Recently, at a party, she criticized the home decor, the hostess’s cooking, and the garden. I thought I’d disappear—I couldn’t believe this person was my wife.
The Diamond
I knew she was a rough diamond when I married her, but I was drawn to her raw boldness and how little she cared what others thought. Now, all I see is someone crude, inconsiderate, impossible to take to a restaurant because she behaves like a caveman. I realize now she’s not a rough diamond—she’s just a rough stone.
