69
In my high school group, “dinner, movie, 69” meant we’d have sex after the date. Once, I arranged to meet a guy and texted him, “dinner movie 69.” After the movie, we went up to his place, and during sex, he "turned around." I asked what he was doing, and he said, surprised, that he was doing the 69 like I asked. I was confused—how did I ask for that, and what?! That’s when I realized that although I’d been using the term for years to mean sex, I had no idea what 69 actually meant.
Go ahead
We were in doggy style, and I told the guy, “go ahead on my back,” and he literally spit on my back. We laughed when I explained I meant he could finish on my back.
Genuine surprise
At a church summer camp, there was a very innocent, very cute boy I invited to my room on the second day. When I undressed, he just stared in amazement. I told him I was glad he thought I was pretty but asked if everything was okay. He asked where my “missing parts” were. He had never seen a naked woman before—not even in pictures—and was puzzled that there was nothing between my legs.
The feeling
When my now-wife and I first had sex, I came after about three thrusts. She looked at me with raised eyebrows, and I signaled with my hand that I needed a moment because I couldn’t even speak. When I recovered from the daze, I told her she was the first girlfriend who took birth control, so this was my first time having sex without a condom, and the feeling was indescribable—sorry for finishing so quickly.
Mistake
When I was 18, I took a guy’s virginity. He was pretty good, but I was surprised when he asked why nothing was coming from my breasts when he was sucking. He thought women always have milk. He believed the amount of milk depended on breast size!
Flood
We were in the dark, and the guy was proud, saying, “I just squirted so much from you.” I didn’t feel like I squirted, but I didn’t want to kill his enthusiasm, so I let it slide. He came back from the bathroom with a rag and started mopping the floor under the bed, amazed that a whole puddle had come out of me. It turned out we’d just knocked over a glass of water next to the bed.
Doggy
We didn’t learn much about female anatomy in school, so I thought doggy style was only for anal sex because that’s the only way to reach there. You can imagine how excited I was when a girl said doggy style was her favorite! But during sex—when she got on all fours in front of me and I thought I was about to have my first anal experience—she just grabbed my penis and slid it into her vagina. I was surprised but didn’t complain.
Oops
I was in reverse missionary on my boyfriend, and he was holding my hips to help me move. I wanted to get off to finish with oral, but he was close to climax and moved more forcefully, which ended with me falling off the bed and hitting my head on the floor. I had a bump on my forehead for two days, and we laughed every time we remembered how it happened.
Drops
During sex, I noticed a few red drops on the sheet and told the guy, sorry, I thought my period had started early, but it was just his nose bleeding. He told me not to worry; it only bleeds during sex "when it’s really good."
Latex
I felt a burning sensation during sex but didn’t say anything until it hurt a lot. That night we ended up in the ER because I’m allergic to latex. When he asked earlier what kind of lube to buy, I told him anything but latex, but he misunderstood and thought I meant anything as long as it contained latex.
