Our bond with our pets is so deep it sometimes feels like they’re talking to us. But what if it actually happened?
When I'm Away
I’d explain that when I’m away, I’m not abandoning them—I’m just at work and they have nothing to fear. I’ll always come back. Since my dog came to me with trauma, I’d ask them to guide me to their previous owner—who hurt them—so I could stand up for them.
Friendship
I’d have one-on-one talks with my four cats to find out why they don’t get along and, like a pet psychologist, try to make peace so the fights stop. Also, I’d kindly ask them to avoid throwing up on the carpet.
Clearing Things Up
I’d tell my dog I would never hit them, but even though we never hurt them, they still flinch or tuck their ears when someone moves suddenly or raises their voice. I’d ask them to stop chewing on furniture and shoes, and to show me which rubber toys they want me to buy at the store.
Questions
I'd be most curious about their health. I once had a dog who became listless, and despite vet visits, it took months to discover a bad tooth. After it was pulled, they bounced back, but they suffered needlessly from a simple fix. My beautiful seven-year-old white cat had a similar issue, but the diagnosis came too late.
By the time they found out she was anemic, her condition was too severe to save her. So I’d ask my pets if anything hurts, what’s bothering them, and agree on a signal (like raising their left paw) to let me know if they’re in pain in the future.
The Pillow
I’d ask my cat why she pees on my brother’s pillow every couple of months and explain that trimming her claws isn’t punishment, and the vacuum isn’t out to get her. Secretly, I’d ask who her favorite family member is.
Devotion
I’d tell my cat how much better my life has been since she came along and how much I love her. I say it dozens of times a day, but I’d want to be sure she really understands. I’d ask how I could make her happier and if she really sees ghosts when she stares behind me.
Quality of Life
I’d chat with my dog about improving their quality of life. I’d ask which foods or flavor combos they love so I can cook or buy those. I’d take them shopping and buy whatever they point to. I’d ask if they prefer hiking, swimming, or the dog park, and why they howl every time the phone rings.
The Past
I have a dog from a shelter and a cat I found on the street. I’d ask them to share what life was like before they came to me. Did they have a family who gave them up? Did something happen to their owner? Or were they always strays? If so, what challenges did they face living on the streets?
The Others
I’d ask my dog not to bother their little brother, our new dog. I’d reassure them that even though we have another dog now, we love them just the same. I’d thank them for being a great guard dog but remind them not to bark at the mail carrier, longtime relatives, friends, or babies in strollers.
Healing
I’d explain that the vet isn’t the enemy but wants to help. When I have to give medicine or eye drops, it’s not to hurt them but to make them feel better. I’d beg my dogs not to roll in dead animals on walks, because then they smell bad and I have to give them the dreaded bath. I’d also let them know I’ll only throw the stick if they give it to me first—not if they clamp down and won’t let go, no matter how much I tug.
