The Backstory
I cheated, got caught, and ever since, my ex-husband’s family has labeled me a homewrecker who destroyed our happy marriage. Meanwhile, my ex loves playing the victim, but the truth is far from that. For years, he never had a kind word or a gentle touch for me—nothing. I tried countless times to talk to him, told him I wasn’t happy, but he never listened and treated me like air.
After years of a loveless, empty marriage, a man came along who showed genuine interest. (The mechanic I took my car to.) I could see on his face that he was happy to see me. He complimented me and opened the door for me. He was the one I gave myself to, like a thirsty soul finally getting a glass of water. We’re still together, and I’ve never felt so loved and appreciated. But to the outside world, I’m the heartless woman who just wanted an adventure.
Biology
Male animals aim to spread their seed and fertilize as many females as possible to keep the species going. Females focus on raising offspring. That’s it—remember this and you’ll understand why men can be unfaithful. A woman looks elsewhere when she no longer feels safe with her partner, which is also a survival instinct. Sure, we like to think as humans we’re rational and considerate of our partner’s feelings, but let’s be honest—we’re all animals at heart.
Being a Woman
Unlike men, women don’t cheat for the thrill, excitement, or adventure. In my experience, it’s always because they don’t get the attention that makes them feel truly feminine from their partner.
What Delights
I didn’t look elsewhere because I was bored with my husband or craving something new. Men say “variety is the spice of life,” but women often happily spend their lives with the same partner. It’s men who struggle with that kind of loyalty. I looked away because something inside me quieted during my marriage. I wasn’t getting the emotional connection I longed for. Men might cheat because they aren’t getting what they need physically at home, but I’ve seen many cases where the couple’s sex life was great, yet the man still cheated—because they never miss an opportunity.
Cause and Effect
Men cheat because of ego; women cheat because of emotions. Men seek novelty; women seek contrast. Men shouldn’t worry about their partner desiring another man’s body, but rather that—if they’ve emotionally checked out—another man will spark the emotional connection that’s gone. Women don’t cheat because they want something “better,” but because they want to feel feminine again. To break free from emotional numbness and reclaim the self they were when their partner truly noticed them. To feel alive again! Men never see this coming, and it always hits them hard, even though these feelings have been there for a long time…
The Nothingness
For me, it was that I wasn’t getting anything from my fiancé anymore. I couldn’t share my joys or sorrows because he didn’t pay attention. I stopped being his partner. I still did the laundry, cooking, and ironing, but we lived like roommates. He didn’t make me feel like a woman—or even like a person. He looked right through me, like I was just a piece of furniture. That invisibility killed me. So when a man came into my life who truly “saw” me again, I couldn’t resist. Men mostly cheat physically, but women are always unfaithful emotionally.
