Stalemate
I’d love to kiss my husband, but usually I only get a quick peck. I’ve told him many times that kissing feels like foreplay to me, and a passionate kiss could easily lead us to the bedroom, but he’s not willing. I think we stopped kissing around the third year of our marriage—about five years ago.
Kids
Since the kids were born, there’s been no kissing between us. We only see each other as mom and dad now. It’s sad, but that’s how it is.
Bad Advice
We’ve been married for 12 years, and I can’t even remember when we last kissed, as my husband calls it, “making out.” Last year we almost divorced, but by some miracle, I convinced him to try therapy as a last chance. One of the first things I brought up was this issue. The therapist said no one should be forced to do anything uncomfortable in a relationship. So if my husband doesn’t want to kiss me, I shouldn’t push it. That made me furious because I believe kissing is a basic intimacy between two people, and now my husband feels justified.
Only Occasion
We’ve been together for four years, and we only kiss during sex; otherwise, it’s just quick pecks. I’m fine with that—I don’t crave long make-out sessions, and neither does he.
Consequences
In our marriage, I’m the one who stopped kissing my husband a few years ago because whenever we kiss, he immediately wants to have sex—and that’s not always possible. When I’m about to leave—dressed up, hair done, makeup on—and he comes in for a passionate goodbye kiss, I’m already trying to escape because he doesn’t get that I have to go and I’m not up for a quick session right then. He gets hurt by this, and we argue a lot about it.
Words of Wisdom
My aunt told me back in my teens that a marriage without kisses is doomed to fail sooner or later. I never forgot that and always kept it in mind. With my ex-husband, we were together for three years, and I started suspecting he was cheating when he stopped eagerly returning my kisses.
Technique
I love my fiancé, but I’m a bit relieved that after four years together, he no longer insists on French kissing because he’s really bad at it. And I’ve never told him.
Hurts
We’ve been together for seven years, and I remember exactly when we stopped kissing. We had a terrible fight where we said some harsh things to each other. We made up and agreed to start fresh, but I can’t forget what he said. It hurt me so much that since then, I can’t kiss him with love. I’m sure he feels the same because he hasn’t pushed it either.
Faded Flame
After 15 years of marriage, we can’t stand each other. We have sex maybe once a year—usually when we come home drunk from a friend’s wedding or baby shower—but there’s no kissing. We still live together because we agreed to separate only after the kids graduate in two years, but emotionally, we’re long divorced.
Years
In our circle of friends, there isn’t a single couple who still kisses. I know this because the topic came up once and we talked about it. Some have been married for 12 years, others only 4, but passionate kisses are nowhere to be found—only in memories.
