Literally
For years, I tried to be the most flexible, understanding girlfriend, without getting anything back in return. When I brought this up, I was told if I didn’t like it, I should find someone else. So I reached out to an old classmate I’d been chatting with harmlessly for six months. We met up, it went so well that a week later I moved in with him, and we’ve been together for three years.
Panna
Panna, my coworker, was married to Barni for four years. She told me that within the first six months, her husband’s enthusiasm faded fast, and all his sweet gestures disappeared from their relationship. Barni stopped picking her up from work, stopped taking her out to dinner, stopped bringing flowers, and wasn’t interested in any of the couple’s plans Panna organized.
After four years, Panna told him she felt lonely in their marriage. Barni didn’t argue or defend himself—he just shrugged and said if she wasn’t happy, she should find someone else. That was all he had to say after four years.
Panna couldn’t even cry; she just wondered why she tolerated and fought for years when she meant so little (or nothing) to her husband. Without a word, she went to the bedroom, grabbed her suitcase, and calmly started packing. Her husband thought it was an act and didn’t try to stop her—he only panicked when she didn’t answer his calls for a whole week. At the divorce hearing, he begged her in tears in front of everyone, but she didn’t even look at him. Later, she told me that since the divorce, she feels like a wilted plant that was watered and came back to life.
The Guys
When I decided it was over, it had happened three times in two months that my boyfriend chose to hang out with his friends instead of spending the evening with me. The last time, I was already dressed and we were about to leave for dinner when I got a message from the guys saying they were at some bar.
"Honey, we’ll go another time, but now I want to be with the guys..." he said, kissed my cheek quickly, and grabbed his coat. I stared at the door for an hour, and right then I made the decision that this was the end. When I told him, he said I wouldn’t find anyone better, but two years later, I’m happily in a relationship, and he’s still alone.
Not Anyway
When Betti was caught cheating the first time, I forgave her. The second time, I handled it less well, and instead of the usual begging, she surprised me by saying, "I won’t leave you because I can’t find anyone better." I wondered if I was really so worthless that I only got a partner who cheats regularly?
I decided I’m worth more than that. The next day, while she was out, I moved my things out and never looked back. Even a year and a half later, she still messages me saying she was stupid and still loves me, but I’m happy with someone else now.
Alone
I told my ex-fiancée several times that it hurt when she flirted with other men in front of me. She said that’s just who she is and she won’t change, but I could find a woman who doesn’t flirt with anyone. Maybe I’m old-fashioned, but I wanted a partner who wouldn’t show off for others, especially not in front of me. I told her she could keep the ring and left. (I still remember her open-mouthed look as I walked away.) It was strange being alone in the new apartment at first, but then I started enjoying the single life.
