Over the years, I’ve had both male and female instructors. It shocked me that even though I was paying for a service and genuinely wanted to learn, I often hit walls.
Many share their stories on forums about instructors who harass them. Sexual remarks, flirtatious attempts, and unwanted touching happen more often than you’d think.
Learning to drive is already a heavy load: mastering countless rules, handling the car properly, dealing with pressure to perform, fitting lessons into daily life, and battling exam nerves all at once.
So why should the instructor add to that stress and cause stomach knots for the paying client? Why does learning to drive often come hand in hand with enduring rude, pushy, and harassing comments from middle-aged, inappropriate men?
This deserves a #MeToo story
Many male instructors abuse their power. They exploit women’s vulnerable position because they know their students depend on them. Why? Because they can. Because the woman is trapped in a situation where she shares a confined space with someone else, with no one else watching or intervening.
I’ve experienced it myself, and others have shared stories where an instructor’s frustration from failed flirt attempts led to unpleasant lessons.
Knowing they hold our "future" in their hands when it comes to driving, they feel in control. Without empathy, they sabotage the learning experience and try to manipulate their students psychologically.
"If you’re not mine, I’ll make things difficult"
They might not say it outright, but their behavior says it all. I want to share a memorable moment from my own story.
After doubling the required 30 hours, I wanted to take the exam. My driving instructor laughed it off, dodged the topic, and next time, took a petty step against me.
He pretended to take a call on a silent phone while I was driving. He acted out a conversation about another student who failed because, as the naive one thought, she had the right to test after so many hours. He chuckled, calling her silly and saying she didn’t understand how it really works. The parallel to my situation was chilling. What a coincidence. When his fake phone rang at his ear, I realized the message was meant for me.
Why don’t we change instructors after realizing this?
Anyone in this situation fears another failure. Plus, they often can’t afford to switch. They know instructors know each other and worry about making things worse. So they endure the process with someone who gives them chills, hoping to finally get their license and end the ordeal. Afterwards, the license is just a bad memory.
My advice? If you feel you’re in the wrong place, don’t hesitate to invest your time and money in finding someone better. You deserve that!
