I always took offense when someone said there’s no friendship between men and women. As a guy, I thought I could be that rare friend who connects with women without any ulterior motives—selflessly and unconditionally. I had several female friends, but over the years, I noticed I sometimes crossed boundaries without even realizing it. I had to admit to myself that I only "befriended" these women because I liked them and hoped to be more than just a buddy in their lives someday. It was a tough realization—I felt disappointed in myself.
The Suspicion
I was proud of my female friends until my guy friends pointed out that they all looked strikingly like my ideal type: tall, slender, long brown hair, big doe eyes. I hadn’t even noticed before. Sadly, I realized I was using friendships with women like a Tinder app.
The Consolation
After a breakup, I got closer to a girl from my circle. We talked every day and met at least twice a week. Two months in, I tried to kiss her, and she was shocked—I’ll never forget the look of outraged surprise in her eyes. I thought we were moving slowly, emotionally preparing for a new relationship, but she saw me only as a friend. I still don’t understand why she thought I was just comforting and entertaining her as a buddy—who does that as a guy...?
The Reality Check
I didn’t even realize I was just waiting for the right moment with Bea. I loved Bea—we were truly good friends, supporting each other through thick and thin for two years. We both had casual flings—nothing serious—and shared those stories openly. Then she fell for someone else, and I felt betrayed and deeply hurt. I couldn’t understand why she cared for that newcomer when I had been there for her in tough times! I irrationally felt she owed me something, and to this day, I don’t get why I believed that if I was persistent enough, we’d end up together.
The Imagination
I have three female friends I consider just that—friends—and I’ve never made a move. But I admit, I’ve imagined being intimate with each of them.
Zalán
Zalán and I loved hanging out—countless concerts, festivals together. Then one day, I introduced him to someone as my "best friend, like a brother," and he never answered my calls again.
Endless Patience
I had a guy "friend"—or so I thought—who, after twenty years (!) of knowing each other, drunkenly confessed he was just waiting for me to "finally let him in." At first, I was confused, then it hit me. I was so disgusted that I cut ties immediately. Men can be unbelievable—pretending to be friends for decades, hoping you’ll eventually invite them into your bed. Gross. I still can’t think of that twenty-year "friendship" without feeling bitter.
Clear Vision
I have guy friends, and I know each of them would happily sleep with me if I gave a sign. That’s why I call them buddies, not friends. Any woman who thinks men befriend her out of pure goodwill is being naive. If you want a male friend, I recommend gay men—they truly make great friends.
Appearance
I’ve noticed that beautiful women have male "friends," but women who are conventionally less attractive—plain, to be frank—don’t have a single guy buddy. Why is that? Because men always want more than just friendship.
Hidden Motives
One of my exes suggested we stay friends, and I was happy because he was a genuinely nice guy—we just didn’t fit. Then a few months later, he asked me straight up if I was giving him another chance or what was going on.
Let It Go
I met Gáspár at a party, and from the first moment, we clicked. We loved the same underground music and weird movies—it felt like he was my twin brother in guy form. We were inseparable for eight months, then I met someone I fell in love with. I thought—how naive of me—that Gáspi would be happy for me. Instead, he exploded, calling me a fool and questioning what I thought I was doing. I’d never been so disappointed in anyone. I truly believed he loved me for who I am inside, but it turned out he had been hoping for a romance all along.
