Most parents think of childcare as a problem of finding. You find a sitter, you check them, you exhale. But anyone who has lost a good one — to university, to a move, to a quietly declined text — knows the real problem is keeping. The people who look after children talk to each other, and they make decisions about which houses they return to based on things most families never think about. Almost none of it is money.
The ten minutes before you leave are the whole job
There is a particular kind of departure where the parents are already half out of the door, shouting instructions over a shoulder: she's had tea, he can stay up a bit, there's stuff in the fridge, back about eleven. The sitter smiles and says fine. Then at 7.40pm a child announces that she is not allowed that cup, and the sitter has no way of knowing whether this is true or an opportunistic negotiation.
A proper handover takes four minutes and removes most of the evening's stress. Say the bedtime out loud with a number attached. Name the one non-negotiable — no screens after bath, or the little one sleeps with the door open exactly this wide. Say what the children are likely to try on. Show where the plasters are, and the light switch for the hall, and how the front door locks from the inside. Say when you will genuinely be back, and then mean it.
