Pay in a way that doesn't require courage
The most uncomfortable moment in domestic life is a young person standing in your hallway at midnight wondering how to ask for money while you look for your phone. Agree the rate before the first booking, confirm whether it changes after midnight, and settle it the same evening or the next morning without being chased. Round up when she stayed late. Pay in full if you cancel at short notice — her evening was already committed.
None of this is generosity, strictly speaking. It is simply treating an arrangement as an arrangement, which is exactly what makes someone say yes the next time you ask.
How do I know if my children are actually happy with a sitter?
Ask open questions the next day rather than leading ones — what did you do, what was the best bit, what did she say when you asked for the second story. Listen for ease rather than enthusiasm; a child who shrugs and says it was fine is usually telling you the truth. Real concerns tend to surface sideways, in reluctance at bedtime or an oddly specific comment days later, so pay attention to changes in how they behave around the booking rather than to a single verdict.
What should I actually write down before I go out?
Keep a short note on the fridge rather than reciting it: your mobile number and your partner's, one other adult who can get there quickly, the address written in full for emergency calls, any allergy or medication, and the bedtime. Add the three house quirks that are obvious to you and invisible to everyone else — the bathroom light pull, the window that needs a shove, the neighbour's cat that lets itself in. Updating it takes a minute and it works for every sitter you ever have.
