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“Do Other Countries Have a Moon Too?” – Teachers Share Stories About Clueless College Students

Szőke Angéla3 min read
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“Do Other Countries Have a Moon Too?” – Teachers Share Stories About Clueless College Students — Lifestyle
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The Authentic Reference

The Authentic Reference
In the essay "What Cognitive Abilities Are We Born With?", a student used Mowgli from The Jungle Book as a reference for two whole pages. And not even from the book, but from the Disney movie.

Framed

Framed
Now retired, I still have a framed test in my study where someone scored zero points on a 20-question true-or-false quiz. How someone could miss every single answer still amazes me—so I had it framed.

Spelling

Spelling
I taught at a university in the US for a few years and sometimes I wasn’t sure if a student was joking or serious. (Sadly, they never were joking.) Two cases stand out: one student asked in philosophy class if other countries have moons too—he thought the Moon belonged only to the United States. Another wrote an essay about “Leonardo Davin Chi” because she didn’t know how to spell Leonardo Da Vinci.

The Timing

The Timing
This happened before smartphones. One morning I checked my voicemail and a student urgently said they couldn’t make the exam because it was midnight and they were taking a friend to the ER, asking for understanding. What they forgot was that the automated message announced the recording time—7:30 PM. I had no choice but to fail them.

Speaking in Languages

Speaking in Languages
As a French teacher, I thought I’d seen it all—but I was still surprised when a student had the nerve to copy the entire assignment into Google Translate and submit it. The problem? They translated it into Spanish.

Experience Matters

Experience Matters
One assignment started with: “Thanks to my 25 years of experience in the field…” The student copied a famous professor’s work without reading it, so they got caught right from the first sentence.

The Infamous Essay

The Infamous Essay
I assigned a short essay, and one girl copied one word-for-word from the internet. The catch? The lazy student submitted my own writing as her essay.

The Dad

The Dad
One student wasn’t happy with their grade. They slammed their paper on my desk and said, “Do you know who my dad is?!” I told them no, and that I didn’t care, then put on my coat and left. They might still be standing there, mouth wide open.

The Recommendation

The Recommendation
After graduation, one student had the audacity—using a friendly, casual tone—to ask me for a glowing recommendation letter to send to Europe’s top three universities for further studies. This student was easily the worst in the entire class—and once threatened me with a lawsuit after I failed them on an exam.

Tell Me About Yourself

Tell Me About Yourself
I was teaching a small class and asked everyone to say a few words about themselves. One guy shared that when he was in high school, his homeroom teacher lost custody of their children, and he helped kidnap the kids from the ex-wife. The man then fled to another country. Maybe he wanted to sound cool, but the story shocked us all.
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