In her book Dare to Lead, Brené Brown sums up years of research, thousands of interviews, and deep self-reflection on how to become a leader people genuinely want to follow. These seven lessons can help you be courageous, kind, and human—all at once.
1. Stay Open to Learning and Growth
Great leaders aren’t authentic because they have all the answers—they’re authentic because they’re open to learning and evolving. Brown says successful leadership means focusing less on always being right and more on continuous growth and doing your best. Curiosity and the courage to learn from mistakes are key.
2. Vulnerability Is the Heart of Courage
Vulnerability isn’t weakness—it’s the foundation of courage. Brown highlights that embracing vulnerability builds real connections and trust. Our courage can’t outgrow our willingness to be vulnerable.
3. Harness the Power of Empathy
Remember, empathy isn’t just feeling for others—it’s an active choice to connect during tough times. Brown identifies five empathy skills:
- Understanding others’ perspectives,
- Setting aside judgment,
- Recognizing others’ feelings,
- Reflecting feelings back,
- Practicing mindfulness
These skills deepen connections and strengthen your team.
4. Leaders Must Be Compassionate Toward Themselves
Self-compassion means talking to yourself like you would to someone you care about. Research by Brown and Kristin Neff from the University of Texas shows that kindness to ourselves, recognizing our shared humanity, and mindfulness help us avoid perfectionism and learn from mistakes.
5. Don’t Automatically Believe Everything You Tell Yourself
We often tell ourselves stories about what others think or why things happened—stories that aren’t always true but are shaped by our fears and doubts. Brown calls these "Shitty First Drafts" (SFDs). Recognizing them helps us respond more calmly and thoughtfully.
6. Know the Difference Between Shame and Guilt
Shame is a deep emotion that makes us feel unworthy of love and connection. Brown explains it convinces us we’re not good enough. Guilt, on the other hand, means we’ve done something wrong but aren’t bad people. Leaders who understand this can better support their teams’ growth.
7. Leaders Are Masters of Their Emotions
Finally, Brown says practicing calmness means consciously managing your thoughts and emotional responses. This helps you respond thoughtfully and compassionately instead of reacting impulsively.
She recommends box breathing: inhale slowly for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, exhale for 4 seconds, then pause for 4 seconds before repeating. This simple technique can calm your mind and boost focus.
Remember: leadership isn’t just about decisions—it’s about how we treat ourselves and others through challenges. Brené Brown’s lessons remind us that courage, curiosity, and self-awareness are our greatest strengths. As leaders, let’s be authentic, vulnerable, and determined—and in return, become true role models.
