Some wake up too late to the fact that they took their partner for granted.
What the Heart Wants
My wife — well, my ex-wife, though it still hurts to say that — was a wonderful woman. Always kind, devoted, like an angel with her feet on the ground. We met when we were twenty and were 38 when one day she sat me down to talk. I suspected nothing; I thought she just wanted to discuss some change about our vacation.
When she said she’d fallen in love with someone else, I thought I misheard. I was frozen, unable to react. I heard her keep talking, but the words didn’t register, like I was underwater. The next month is still a blur—I don’t remember how I went to work or what happened. I just functioned like a zombie. By the time I started to come to my senses, she had already moved out. I only saw her again in court when we finalized the divorce.
It was actually my sister who finally had enough of me feeling sorry for myself. One day she told me to stop playing the victim because I was the typical idiot who didn’t care enough about his wife—and now I was surprised she left.
Six Months
Back in my teenage years, I once overheard a girl at a party telling her friend that no guy truly appreciates his girlfriend. She said most have a “delayed reaction” to breakups, usually reaching out again after six months with a lame line like “I miss you” or “You just popped into my mind.”
I smiled and forgot about it—until twenty years later when I was about to text my ex-wife that I still thought about her. It had been exactly six months since our divorce. That’s when it hit me: I was one of those guys who didn’t appreciate his girl.
Everything Good
It took me a while to realize what I’d lost. Coming home to an empty, silent apartment. On my birthday, no calls except from my mom and brother. No party, which my wife always organized. No surprise, no delicious cake she baked, no gifts. When I got fined for missing a payment, because she used to handle everything. When I was sick and no one made me soup. When I was sad and had no one to talk to or lean on.
Everything good in my life was because of her. I never saw how much invisible work she did for both of us—only when she emotionally distanced herself.
The Saying
When she tried to tell me what was wrong, I just brushed it off as typical female whining. But she really wanted me to know this wasn’t working for her. I was comfortable and didn’t pay attention. Her complaints became background noise I ignored. I deserved to be left, and honestly, I never deserved her in the first place.
There’s a saying that regret is just memories dressed up in guilt—and that’s exactly how it feels.
The Best Thing
Vera was the best thing that ever happened to me—and I knew it even then. But people are flawed, especially men. Foolishly, the awe of “I have a woman like her?” turned into “Of course I have her, because that’s what I deserve.” Men are simple creatures, not as sensitive or refined as women.
I stopped giving little gifts, flowers, or attention because I got too comfortable with Vera’s presence. Everyone knows it’s easy to take the good for granted. That was my mistake, one I realized immediately—but she never came back. The only thing I can do now is promise myself to never behave that way again. Next time, I won’t just win someone’s heart—I’ll keep appreciating the person I share my life with.
