Some jokes just go terribly wrong…
The Haircut
My girlfriend swapped my shampoo for hair remover—it was apparently some TikTok trend. By the time I finished, I had a bald patch on the back of my head, just like a priest’s tonsure. I left her because she knew I was self-conscious about my thinning hair and afraid of balding, yet she made a joke out of that fear.
Maxi
My girlfriend came home crying, saying our dog had run off during a walk, got hit by a car, and ran away barking. I love Maxi like my own child, so I immediately printed flyers with his photo and spent hours posting them around the neighborhood. When I got home exhausted and in tears that evening, Maxi was waiting at the door. “Oh come on, it was just a joke!!” she kept saying, but for me, that was the end of the relationship. Maxi’s been with me ever since.
The Power of Words
She took photos of pages from my childhood diary and posted them on Facebook. They included things I wrote at nine years old, like “Today I kissed my Brad Pitt poster and felt like his wife.” The post got two hundred likes, so she refused to take it down. I realized that anyone who can hurt me emotionally just to get a laugh isn’t someone I want to be with.
The Accident
She called me with a friend pretending that my fiancé had an accident and was rushed to the hospital. I immediately left my meeting and rushed to the hospital, where no one knew who I was looking for. I called him, his parents, and his brother for two hours, nearly losing my mind, until he giggled and called back saying “he just wanted to see how important I am to you.” Sitting in the hospital parking lot, I wondered what kind of cruel person could do something so manipulative. We never spoke again.
The Fall
On a hike, she was filming when I took a hard fall on the rocky mountain trail, twisting my ankle and groaning in pain. She posted the video on TikTok with the caption “this is why girls shouldn’t be let out of the kitchen.”
The Inner Circle
She kept pestering me, so I put it in our friends’ group chat. She then wrote that she thought I was secretly gay. No one laughed.
Cancer
A week after my annual gynecological exam, she called me at work saying a letter had arrived saying I had cervical cancer. When I got home, she laughed and said it was a joke, she just “wanted to see my reaction.”
The Ring
I had been planning to propose for weeks, but that morning I couldn’t find the ring. I was sure I’d put it in my jacket pocket in the closet, but it wasn’t there. I tore apart the whole apartment and still couldn’t find it. That evening, we went out to dinner—I was miserable, sweating, almost in tears—until suddenly I saw the ring on my girlfriend’s finger. When I asked, she laughed. She said she’d found it by accident that morning and thought it would be funny to hide it to see “how I’d react.” I never asked for the ring back, but right then I knew I would never marry her.
The Document
I worked on a portfolio for months, then one day when I tried to open it on my computer, all the files were blank. I checked every folder and the recycle bin—nothing. I had a crying fit and a panic attack before my boyfriend admitted he’d copied it to his computer “as a joke.” I stayed calm, waited for him to restore my work, then told him it was time to pack.
Waiting
I’d been with Boti for six years and was ready to take our relationship to the next level. I was 35, wanting marriage, a home, and kids, but he always brushed it off with “yeah, maybe later…” Every birthday, vacation, and Christmas I hoped he’d finally propose—no luck. I knew my mom and friends had talked to him because I told them if he didn’t propose on our anniversary, I’d give up and leave.
That night, Boti told me to dress up because he was taking me to a restaurant. It was a fancy place, and I felt this was the moment. After dinner, we went out to the terrace with a stunning city view. He handed his phone to the waitress to take a photo of us, then got down on one knee. Tears welled up as I heard the waitress gasp, but when I looked down, Boti was fiddling with his shoelace and grinning. He was just joking.
He burst out laughing loudly, and I caught the waitress’s pitying look. Something snapped inside me. I ran to the elevator and got in; Boti shouted after me, but the doors closed. I went to a friend’s place, turned off my phone, and stayed there overnight. The next day, while he was at work, I packed up all my things with friends from our shared apartment and never spoke to Boti again. Apparently, he had the ring and really planned to propose after the “joke,” but by then, I just didn’t care.
