It’s important to recognize the moment when a relationship can still be saved, even with outside help — says Piroska Sándor, relationship counselor and mediator, highlighting how long it’s worth seeking support.
When arguments, conflicts, and hurts pile up — the expert admits, it becomes impossible to fix things. At that point, we focus on helping both sides express their views, explain what they believe caused the distance, and aim for the most peaceful separation possible.
As long as there’s hope, it’s crucial that everyone involved does everything they can to resolve the situation, especially when children are part of the picture.
Every Age Brings Its Own Challenges
The expert observes that many relationship struggles arise simply from different life stages. The birth of a child is a classic hurdle in any marriage, and not everyone manages to overcome it. New moms change a lot during this time, intimacy with their partner often decreases, and men can feel left on their own.
Finding a healthy balance between motherhood and being a wife isn’t easy for everyone. Plus, the lack of physical contact for women is somewhat replaced by breastfeeding and soothing. Constant alertness makes parents tired and sleep-deprived, adding to the strain. Talking openly about the situation helps — both partners sharing what hurts and what they need.
Another common issue is when a third party enters the relationship. According to the therapist, it’s not always the person involved with the third party who’s to blame. Usually, it reflects a missing element in the relationship.
Around age 40, the so-called midlife crisis knocks, which is different from the “midlife panic.” The main questions are: Am I in the right place? Am I doing the right job? Am I living my life the right way?
If the answer to any of these is no, there’s still a chance to change things and chase dreams long held close. Many do just that.
The midlife panic, also called the Nobel Prize syndrome, usually starts after age 50. It hits when someone realizes they’ve missed out on something important and tries to make up for lost time immediately, feeling like time is running out.
A typical relationship challenge arises when children leave the family nest or the couple retires — shares the mediator from experience. Suddenly, it’s just the two of them again, with plenty of time together, so everyday life needs to be reimagined. If conflicts existed before, they tend to intensify. Divorce around age 60 is tougher than for younger couples because they’re often financially and practically intertwined, deeply accustomed to life together for decades. Changing this is hard and painful.
In most relationships, sexual issues create the deepest divide. Piroska Sándor believes sexual problems never appear out of nowhere — they’re always symptoms of something else.
Sexual barriers usually hide deeper issues that therapy aims to uncover and address as much as possible.
Do Therapists See Therapists Too?
You might think relationship counselors have perfect marriages and solve problems like clockwork. Piroska Sándor recalls a memorable case where both spouses were professionals in the field but couldn’t fix their own crisis. They were in the middle of a messy divorce, fighting over property and child custody, when they sought outside help. Eventually, their relationship normalized, but they couldn’t have done it alone.
Therapy Isn’t Just for Couples
The expert points out that mediators don’t only help with marriage or romantic relationships. They’ve also resolved family conflicts and recently worked with a mother and daughter to find peaceful common ground.
Many seek therapy for workplace tensions too — whether between colleagues or between a boss and employee. The key is communication and active participation from everyone to overcome challenges.
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