Men aren’t really the words kind of people. In fact, they often don’t respond well to words because, for them, communication is all about actions.
Planning
Still just dating and wondering if he’s really interested? Here’s a simple way to tell: Does he reach out to invite you somewhere? Does he plan something and clearly pay for it? If yes, you’ve got his interest. If not, you don’t. If he’s texting or liking your posts all day but never asks you out, don’t overthink it or make excuses (like he’s busy or tired). Just let it go. You’re worth it!
The Shelf Story
My dad was a big talker, loved grand declarations. He constantly said how much he loved my mom, but she didn’t really feel it—and I can’t blame her. They eventually divorced, and my mom remarried. Her new husband is a quiet guy who’s never said "I love you" (to her or anyone, I think), but I just know. Here’s a quick example: Dad used to scold Mom for buying yet another quirky mug on vacation. The new husband, just two weeks after they met, showed up with a shiny, custom shelf system he installed so Mom can admire her mugs all day long.
Upbringing
We can’t really blame guys for being awkward communicators—they’re raised with simple rules: Don’t cry. Don’t talk about your feelings. Tough it out. Fix it. No wonder words aren’t their thing.
Poet vs. Hands-On Guy
I once dated a guy who wrote me poems, and I thought that was the most romantic thing ever. It took me two years to realize I couldn’t really count on him—and I wasn’t the only one charmed by his verses. (Both were tough lessons.) Now I’m with a mechanical engineer who doesn’t send flattering sonnets but changes my car’s oil and swaps on winter tires without me asking. And I can count on him for everything.
Cleared Doubts
At the start of our relationship, I was unsure because he never said "I love you" or "I miss you." But when I caught a cold, he drove an hour and a half to bring me some soup. That’s when I knew he doesn’t "talk" about caring—he shows it.
Together
I never liked shopping, and none of my exes ever came with me. But my fiancé does—he says it’s quality time together, and he keeps me entertained while we fill the cart. That’s real love.
Husbands
My husband is a bit of a caveman in the sense that he always speaks his mind bluntly (even if it hurts), can’t fake being nice to people he doesn’t like, and tells it like it is when he’s not in the mood. Once, my friends wondered how I put up with such a rough, gruff guy, so I asked them a few questions: Where was your husband when you were pregnant? Mine was cooking in the kitchen because I couldn’t stand food smells. And when the baby was little? Mine got up three times at night to feed and change our daughter without complaint. You probably hire tutors for your older kids, but my husband does the math homework himself. Maybe he’s not a chatty social butterfly, but he’s an amazing dad and husband. That’s that.
Hmm…
If you mention you love flowers and he says a bouquet is pointless because they’ll just wilt, he probably doesn’t truly love you—because flowers are about making you happy when he gives them.
Attitude
I can’t describe how heartwarming my boyfriend’s attitude is. If I call him to pick something up on his way home, he doesn’t throw a fit like my exes did—he just does it without complaint. And he always brings me a little something—a lollipop, a chocolate bar, or a Kinder egg—because he’s thinking of me.
Belief
If his actions don’t match his words, believe the actions. Saying sweet things or texting is easy; actions take time and effort.
