Men open up about the harmless fibs they tell.
The Observation
"I didn’t even notice!"
Actually, I did notice that strikingly attractive woman who walked past us on the street. She had such a perfectly round behind you couldn’t help but glance. So what? Nothing. I looked, purely out of a biological reflex, not intention or feeling. I glanced for a split second and then forgot. But if you ask, I’ll say I didn’t notice, because admitting I did might plant seeds of doubt you don’t need. You don’t need to know every insignificant thing my brain registers.
The Friend Circle
"I like your friends!"
Should I explain that his best female friend is a total drama queen, his guy buddy is a beta loser, his gay friend is a know-it-all, and another female friend is a scatterbrain with a "who else but me" type husband? Nope. I tolerate them once a month for peace’s sake, and that’s it.
Never
"I never think about my ex."
Of course I think about her sometimes, but you don’t need to know because you’d get upset, even though it means nothing. (Really.) The other day I heard a song that reminded me of the girl I was with before you, and a few memories popped up. You asked what I was thinking about, but I didn’t tell you because I don’t want you to feel like you’re competing with a ghost.
The Traffic
"I was stuck in traffic."
The truth is, I stayed in the office a bit longer to have twenty quiet minutes alone. Yesterday, I even sat on the toilet for fifteen minutes just to get some peace and quiet. But I don’t tell her because she’d get upset, even though it’s not about her. I’m a man who sometimes needs solitude, and since we live together and have a child, that’s practically never possible.
Metamorphosis
"Honey, you haven’t changed a bit."
I usually tell my wife she’s just the same as when I married her, but that’s not true. How could it be? She’s given me three wonderful kids and fifteen years have passed. I see her wrinkles and that her waist isn’t as slim as before, but I’ve grown a belly and gone gray too. And that’s okay—that’s life. The important thing is I love her even more today and find her sexier than when I first met her.
The Device
"I didn’t look through your phone."
Maybe I peeked while you were in the shower, so what?
He Loves!
"My mom loves you!"
No, she doesn’t—she misses my ex, but who cares what my mom says when I love you?
Everything’s Fine
It’s not just women who say "everything’s fine" when it’s not. The difference is we don’t say it in a passive-aggressive way. We don’t want our partner to guess what’s wrong and magically apologize. We say it because we don’t want to talk about it and want to handle the problem on our own.
Of Course!
"I love your family!"
Honestly, I mostly just "tolerate" them. I show up when needed and listen politely with a smile. I keep my opinions neutral and don’t react even if I strongly disagree. They’re your family, they belong to you, and I accept that.
Exhausted
"I’m not tired."
Honestly, I’m almost always tired, but I don’t tell my wife because she’s probably even more exhausted than I am. I don’t want to complain or be a burden—I’m the strong head of the family she can lean on, so I don’t whine.
