We asked men why they struggle to stay faithful.
The Overwhelm of Abundance
Unfortunately, there are too many beautiful women, and I’m only human. My wife is my queen, I’m hers forever, but have I mentioned how many stunning women there are out there?!
The Metamorphosis
I was madly in love with my wife when we got together, and for many years after. If I could live my life over a thousand times, I’d choose her every single time as my partner and the mother of my children. She’s smart, funny, kind, a great cook, an amazing mom, and the perfect partner. I still love going to concerts and theater with her, traveling, just being together. But the passionate love has long since softened into deep affection. I think that’s natural and, in many ways, a deeper, more serious feeling than the infatuation I felt at the start. Sometimes I sleep with other women, but to me, that’s not cheating—just physical pleasure. It doesn’t make me love her any less just because I’m intimate with others.
The Secret
I’m 48, my wife is 45, and we’ve been happily living together for 25 years. We truly love each other and have everything we need. We don’t have kids, but this is how we enjoy life together. None of our friends have happy relationships—everyone fights and envies us. When asked about the secret to a happy marriage, I stay silent. The secret is that I’ve had a lover for 15 years. I love my wife and my lover, but in different ways. Together, they fulfill all my emotional and physical needs.
Betrayal
I know my view is rare among men, but I believe someone only cheats if they don’t truly love their partner. My younger brother is like that. He’s cheated on every girlfriend and never cared about the pain he caused. His wife is a beautiful, amazing woman and a successful lawyer. I’ll never understand why she stays with my emotionally numb brother, but she loves him.
Of course, he cheats on her—and with women who wouldn’t even be in the same league as his wife. I’ve tried talking to him about it, but he insists he loves his wife and tells me to mind my own business. I think he doesn’t love her, or he wouldn’t do this. Because this is betrayal, it’s humiliation. But thinking about it, my brother has probably never truly loved anyone but himself…
The Bonus
My wife handles everything related to the house, kids, and family. She calls the repairman, goes to parent meetings, organizes birthdays, vacations, and Christmas. I don’t know what I’d do without her—our whole life would fall apart. Our life together is good, but it includes occasional arguments, sulking, routine, general boredom, and a cooled-off marital bed. I have no intention of ending my marriage because of this, but I do have needs.
A kind word, a gentle touch, exciting sex. To be seen as a man by a woman, to feel desired, admired, and welcomed. That’s what I get from my lover. She’s never sloppy or grumpy—always neat, kind, and enthusiastic when we meet. She does things in bed I’d never ask my wife to do. I don’t feel like I’m betraying my wife by this.
