Men can come up with some truly outlandish lies when it comes to cheating.
The Confusion
I caught him sexting with his ex-girlfriend online. He said his ex has dissociative identity disorder, so sometimes she forgets they broke up. When she messages him, he has to reply—as if they were still together—or she’ll have a "seizure."
The Occupation
I knew it was a lie when he said he was traveling for the weekend. Quietly, I entered his apartment (he gave me a key) and turned on the light in the bedroom. He was sleeping in bed with another woman! I started yelling, and he woke up immediately (the woman kept sleeping). When I asked who she was, he said, "Her? Don’t worry about her, she sometimes climbs in through the window and sleeps here."
The Ghost
He said he disappeared for three weeks because someone crashed into his car and he was in a coma. I told him I’d seen him shopping with a woman at Tesco just a week earlier.
Interesting Secrets
My ex said he had to travel out of town for a few days because his grandfather died and he was handling the funeral. But the next day, I got a message from his fiancée saying he wasn’t with me because their third child was being born. I had no idea he even had a fiancée or kids. We’d been together for six months.
The Eco-Friendly
My ex-husband—whom I left because he was a hardcore alcoholic—said the four empty vodka bottles I found in the hallway weren’t his. He claimed he found them by the roadside and wanted to return them for cash.
The Marks
His neck was clearly covered in red marks from sucking. When I pointed it out, he said it wasn’t what I thought but an allergic reaction. He claimed he felt unwell the night before and took an ibuprofen, which caused the reaction. He only admitted to seeing other women when I pretended to be worried and offered to take him to the hospital for allergy tests.
By Itself
I looked through his phone while he was in the bath and found dozens of photos of girls in bikinis. When I confronted him, he said he didn’t know how they got there and claimed the device was faulty and "downloaded them by itself." The most shocking part? He was 38, and the girls looked no older than 16.
The Delusion
My story is unique because my ex didn’t cheat, he just tried to convince me he had other women. He said he heard on some crazy Andrew Tate podcast that women cling to a man when they think they have to fight for him. He wanted me to "not get too comfortable being with him."
LOL
He said he had an adopted child, but a few months later when we came home, there was an older man in his apartment—he introduced him as his father. Another creative lie was that we didn’t need to use condoms because "he had a car accident as a kid and can’t have children."
The Enthusiastic Fan
We were just about to go on our first wellness trip together when I found a thong next to the passenger seat in his car. When I showed it to him with a questioning look, he said, "A few days ago, I drove past a Flour Tomi concert, and a fan must have accidentally thrown it through the window."
