Let’s be clear from the start: I’m not talking about extreme cases where someone escapes an abusive relationship—though even then, I don’t believe intentional harm or revenge helps anyone move forward.
That said, I see many marriages among friends and acquaintances where people simply grow apart, realize they want different things from life, or one partner falls in love with someone else.
Even an amicable divorce is an emotionally challenging situation, especially when there are valid hurts—like infidelity or betrayal.
I’m not saying there’s no place for heartfelt talks with friends during this time, but honestly, I don’t get people who, months or even years after their divorce, keep wallowing in their pain and expect others to hate their ex with the same intensity. The very person they once loved enough to vow to stand by through anything.
And maybe this opinion won’t be popular, but I feel uneasy around those who loudly trash their ex everywhere, airing dirty laundry and expecting their circle to join the drama.
I understand that sometimes staying friends with an ex-spouse isn’t an option, but shouldn’t we still aim to leave a relationship with dignity, respect, and our heads held high?
Especially when children are involved.
If it’s a "simple" divorce, I get that not everyone can show their best side during the breakup period. But when we’re letting go of our child’s mom or dad, I truly believe we must rise above our own hurts.
I believe in honesty and in communicating changes in the relationship in a way that matches the child’s age and maturity. But no matter how deep our wounds, we should never say things about our child’s other parent that would hurt them to hear.
It doesn’t matter how hurt we are, who started it, or how the other behaves. There’s no excuse for parents who divorce not to put their children’s well-being above their own pride and to do everything possible to protect them from pain. Because our child’s happiness should always come first—not proving who’s right.
Cover photo: Anchiy/istockphoto.com
