Competitive Spirit
At 38, I was racing my 11- and 8-year-old sons to see who could jump from the stairs from the highest step. I won, but I twisted my ankle and hit my head hard enough to leave a hole in the door. My husband couldn’t believe I’d been that reckless, but winning and keeping my cool-mom image mattered to me.
The Flame
When I was 16, I was in my room and suddenly curious about how flammable the posters on my wall were. (I don’t know why—I was never into pyromania.) I grabbed my mom’s lighter from the kitchen and held the small flame under a Maroon 5 poster. The result? We lived with my grandparents for a whole year while the burnt apartment was fixed.
The Roll
I was in my friend’s car—he was driving—and I thought about how movies overdramatize when someone jumps out of a moving vehicle. We were going slow, so I grabbed the door handle, opened it, and jumped out before my poor friend even noticed. Let me tell you, movies don’t exaggerate. The result: four broken teeth, a broken wrist and collarbone, and a nasty concussion.
The Cartoon
At a garden party, I shouted to my friends, “Look, I’m a cartoon character!” and then jumped onto a rake left on the lawn. The next thing I remember is a thunderous pain in my head and waking up in the hospital. My sister’s American husband said my joke sounded like a baseball player hitting the ball with full force.
The Test
Remember the cigarette lighter in cars? Once, out of boredom, I pressed it in, and when it popped out, it didn’t look hot. To test the temperature—don’t ask why—I stuck out my tongue. It literally sizzled like meat frying on a non-stick pan.
The Bottle
I threw a plastic bottle at a fan, and it bounced right back into my eye. At the ER, the doctor, receptionist, and all the nurses asked why I did it, but I couldn’t explain. My vision in that eye is still a bit blurry.
The Ink
I was so bored at the office that I microwaved my pen. It sparked, exploded, and covered the entire inside of the microwave with ink. Luckily, only a few people were left at the end of the day, so I took the ruined microwave to my car, threw it out at home, and went to buy the same model. I brought it back early the next morning, so I didn’t get caught.
The Fatal Mistake
One happened when I was about 12. I grabbed scissors and cut a bit of my hair, then a bit more, until I ended up with a patchy bald spot. Then I thought, “Why not?” and shaved off my eyebrows and cut my eyelashes! My parents took me to a child psychologist for years. The second biggest pointless mistake I made as an adult, at 27, was getting married.
The Thorn
We were dining at a fancy restaurant abroad, and the terrace was full of plants. A cactus was just within arm’s reach, so I decided to tap it to see if it was real. Not a great idea—I ended up in the ER. It hurt like crazy, and the next day I couldn’t go on the prepaid boat trip.
Why
I cheated on an exam I was prepared for and knew well. I got caught and failed.
