Breaking up is never easy, but those with experience rely on tried-and-true methods to soothe the heartache.
Letting Go
I let go of the guy—and for a while, even myself. I do only what’s absolutely necessary—like going to work—but nothing beyond that. I grab fast food, devour chips and chocolate, and binge-watch my favorite shows until I fall asleep in front of the TV. I allow myself to feel awful and let the breakup hurt until it simply doesn’t anymore. Usually, I bounce back in 3-4 weeks.
Keeping Busy
I sign up for a course to distract myself and leave no time to dwell on the past. That’s how I learned to mix cocktails, arrange flowers, and even dance bachata (it’s a dance!).
Geography
Distance helps me—not just emotionally but physically too. After a breakup, I plan a trip for myself. It doesn’t have to be a beach getaway to the Bahamas; even a weekend away works wonders. With budget airlines, it’s easy to snag a cheap flight if you’re flexible about your destination. Taking a day or two off during the week is worth it since weekday deals are even better. Three days in a new city flood you with fresh, positive vibes—no time to wallow in sadness, just new memories unrelated to your ex.
Music Therapy
I listen to my breakup playlist every day. It’s filled with songs that empower me right now (yes, “I Will Survive” is on there). Singing my pain out loud, even through tears, helps a lot. Knowing that admired singers like Beyoncé, Gwen Stefani, and Taylor Swift have been through the same heartbreak gives me strength. It’s a truly comforting thought…
Recovery
The first two months after a tough breakup are pure chaos. Sleep is elusive, food tastes bland, and even small tasks feel like huge efforts. That’s because our brain treats the absence of someone like withdrawal: the reward center quiets down while the stress center lights up. I handle these withdrawal symptoms like I’m in rehab. First, I switch to no-contact mode—muting my ex everywhere and not reaching out myself—because every message only sprinkles salt on the wound and delays healing.
Second, I protect my health by eating at least one proper meal every day, even when I have no appetite. Third, I refuse to hole up at home—I get out daily. Whether it’s a workout, meeting a friend, or just a walk, the key is to dress up and leave the house. This routine keeps me sane when I’m dealing with loss.
Rearranged
After a breakup, I want to erase everything that reminds me of that person, but moving isn’t always an option. So, I rearrange my space. I try moving the couch to the other side of the room. I put new pictures in frames or at least swap posters—what was in the bedroom moves to the living room wall and vice versa. I buy new planters and pillow covers. It’s not a financial strain—especially if I buy secondhand online—but the change is striking. Refreshing my home feels like therapy when my heart hurts.
