Getting on the hamster wheel is easy, pushing yourself is hard, and for many, getting off feels impossible.
Never Enough
I had financial goals. Earning my first million, then ten million, then having a hundred million in the bank, then two hundred million—and so on. It was never enough. As soon as I reached one goal, I set another because it was never enough. I worked myself to the bone, and ironically, I became unhappier along the way.
I still remember crying the first time I held one million forints in cash. I jumped for joy, thinking I was on top of the world. After that, I chased that feeling, but the euphoria kept fading. By the time I hit a hundred million, I barely felt anything—I just checked it off mentally and moved on to the next goal.
When I realized this would never end, I went to a psychologist, and the professional helped me.
The Golden Cage
I sat on the huge terrace of my newly built, luxuriously furnished apartment, gazing at the stunning view. I had worked so hard for this, achieved everything on my own, and this should have been the moment to breathe a satisfied sigh and say I’d arrived—but I couldn’t.
This had been my dream for twenty years, and when I finally got here, I felt nothing. A friend pointed out why I was surprised that my goals at forty were different from those at twenty—and she was right: I wanted something completely different. Now I live in a small cabin in the forest. It’s nothing fancy, but here, I’m truly happy.
Stop Already!
Since my teens, I hustled and told everyone I’d sacrifice my twenties but retire by thirty. Then I turned 45, had reached every financial goal, yet I was still running like crazy.
The wake-up call came as a panic attack. I couldn’t breathe, my heart was pounding so hard my deputy thought I was having a heart attack and called an ambulance. At the hospital, the doctor told me it was my choice, but if I didn’t stop, I’d destroy myself. I listened to my body and hit the brakes.
At first, I didn’t know what to do with myself; everything felt aimless. Eventually, volunteering helped me find my way, and now I tell everyone that we become our best selves when we serve others.
For me—someone who once equated success with millions, expensive suits, and a fancy office—the most rewarding moments now are picking up trash with others in the forest or decorating for a charity event while perched on a ladder.
Therapy
As a therapist, I work with many CEOs. These are people leading huge companies whose lives revolve around work. They have so much money their grandchildren won’t have financial worries, yet they’re not satisfied or happy.
I ask them about their goals and what drives them. Often, the problem is they can’t turn power and money into personal fulfillment, trapping themselves in an endless marathon.
The Pressure
I worked at a large law firm where the environment was fiercely competitive, but that’s what fueled me. I threw myself into work and neglected my friends, hobbies, relationship, and family.
As a woman, I especially wanted to prove myself and was driven to climb the ladder, overtaking male colleagues. Then one day I woke up on my birthday and barely anyone had wished me well.
My boyfriend left six months earlier, and my family and friends had gotten used to me always working on a new case and never having time to go out. That was the moment I realized I was on the wrong path and life was passing me by.
I quit—which shocked everyone—bought a rundown house in Sicily, and now I live here. I’m fixing it up with help from YouTube videos, fumbling a lot but loving it. I swapped designer clothes for work overalls, the local greengrocer now smiles as she hands me my usual fruit, I take long walks on the beach, and every month a relative or friend visits. Now I shudder thinking about those soul-crushing, exhausting lawyer years.
