We thought the online world would bring us closer than ever, that we’d always have someone to talk to or share a thought or photo with—practically for free. Yet, something has quieted around us. It feels like in the promise of connection, we somehow lost the connection itself. Communities have fractured, parties have faded away, and more people are choosing their own path—literally.
Young People Aren’t Searching for "The One" Anymore, But Something Entirely Different
I remember my early twenties when the city pulsed with life. Weekends were about going out, dancing, meeting people, flirting. Familiar faces were around every corner, and every night held the promise of a new story. Today, walking the same street at the same time, it’s not just emptiness that stands out: most places greet me with empty storefronts and "for sale" signs. Bars and clubs have closed—not just because the pandemic stalled momentum, but because the people who kept these places alive have vanished. Younger generations no longer seek connection here—and maybe they don’t even look for the same things that once made life feel complete.
Generation Z (born mid-1990s to early 2010s) lives by different rules. It’s not just about marrying later or delaying starting a family: more and more are consciously choosing not to enter romantic relationships at all. They’re the ones embracing agamy—not out of compulsion or past heartbreak, but from conviction.
They’re Not Looking for the Right Partner, But for Freedom
According to Brazilian anthropologist Heloisa Buarque de Almeida, agamy isn’t just being alone—it’s a deliberate way of living. Those who choose it aren’t searching for the "right" partner but for a life where they can be independent, without compromising their freedom. Agamy means no official ties, no expectations, no "we have to be together to be whole." Instead, it offers autonomy, self-awareness, and the realization that happiness doesn’t always depend on another person.
This doesn’t mean Generation Z has turned away from love or connection. Rather, they seek it differently. Marriage, children, or traditional partnerships are no longer goals for many—they’re social expectations not everyone wants to fulfill automatically. Identity, growth, and protecting personal boundaries have become priorities. And yes, many see choosing not to have children as a responsible decision—not out of fear or commitment issues, but often because of concerns about the planet and an unpredictable future.
We’ve Never Been More Connected Yet More Isolated at the Same Time
While social media seems to connect us, it often deepens the distance. Generation Z spends an average of 2 to 6 hours daily on their phone screens, with 10% exceeding 8 hours. Still, most feel no closer to anyone. Constant online presence, comparison, and the illusion of a perfect life fuel anxiety and self-esteem struggles. Even though today’s youth have more ways than ever to "connect," fewer feel truly connected or loved (or love others back).
This doesn’t automatically mean Generation Z is lonelier, but it does show they think differently about community. Those choosing agamy aren’t withdrawing—they’re redefining what it means to "be with someone." For them, it’s not about having the ideal partner beside them, but about truly staying themselves—which often isn’t fully possible in a relationship, at least not at the start.
Agamy Isn’t a Lack of Love, But a New Form of Self-Identity
This lifestyle might not appeal to everyone, and many might wonder: how can someone be happy without a partner? But agamy isn’t about loneliness. It’s about the idea that "we" only works if "I" comes first—which is a beautiful thought. Maybe this is why Generation Z seems both distant and deeply self-aware: they don’t want to get lost in circumstances or expectations; they want to find ways to be together without losing themselves.
So, looking at it this way, Generation Z isn’t lonelier than others, but they love differently, connect differently, and walk a different path than their predecessors.
Of course, not everyone needs to start a family, commit, or follow the "traditional" path. Still, it’s hopeful to believe freedom and connection aren’t opposites. Maybe the next generation’s true discovery will be that the deepest self-awareness sometimes begins when someone else finds a place in our lives.
