100 Percent
All I know is that I gave everything to the relationship because I truly believed we’d grow old together. I loved her more than anything and wanted her to be happy. She didn’t have to work because I supported her and gave her everything. We shopped, dined, and vacationed wherever she wanted. Whatever she asked for, I bought it. Then one day she told me she didn’t love me anymore, had been seeing someone else for months, and wanted a divorce. Her only reason was: “You were too good to me, and I got bored—I needed some excitement.” Someone please tell me, how are we supposed to deal with women after that?!
Willpower
It’s not my job to excuse or explain my ex-wife’s behavior. All I know is she wanted something (someone), got it, and didn’t care how much pain it caused me. That’s what matters; everything else is just noise.
Transformation
When we met, she was a curvy girl, but to me, she was the most beautiful. We were married for 12 years when she started working out with me and lost 30 kilos (66 lbs) with my help. She thanked me by not resisting the sudden attention from other men and ran off with the first guy who showed interest.
New Friends
At some yoga retreat, she found a new group of girlfriends who filled her head with feminist talk about marriage being slavery and every woman needing to "embrace her femininity." She took it to mean that after a girls’ night out, she could come home late the next day and openly admitted she slept with someone she met at the club. I didn’t stand in the way of her freedom, and we divorced. That was four years ago, and since then, she’s begged me to forgive her and take her back.
The Past
I needed a few years of therapy—because I’m not ashamed to admit I saw a professional after my wife cheated and left—to process what happened and why. My ex had a tough childhood with many unresolved emotional issues. She grew up without strong family bonds or values, carrying a lot of emotional trauma and low self-esteem, which made her chase happiness elsewhere. Today, I can understand her and have forgiven her.
Father Issues
Her father didn’t love her, so she spent her life seeking the love and attention from men that her dad never gave. Unfortunately, the stability I provided wasn’t enough; she kept looking for happiness in other arms. I hate when people dismiss these women by calling it an Electra complex. Whose fault is that? The father’s—the first and most important man in her life who didn’t care. This trauma is hard to heal, just like the lack of a mother’s love leaves lasting wounds in men.
Bygone Times
It was my fault. I was 38 when we got together, and she was only 23. I thought the age gap wouldn’t matter since I’d already lived a bit and settled down, and she seemed mature for her age. I was wrong. After six years, she realized she was almost 30 and hadn’t really lived. She had two affairs before I noticed what was happening. It hurt a lot, but I let go and don’t hold a grudge anymore.
A Wild Side
She was involved with someone when she got together with my best friend, whom I eventually stole her from. She was captivating—a true femme fatale who drove men wild. I was proud to be the one who "tamed" her and to whom she pledged eternal loyalty. Then I realized you can’t change some things, and I ended up like those before me. But at least I still talk to my friend, and now we laugh about how Kata totally fooled us.
Upgrade
I was the young, fit guy she left her previous husband for. Eight years later, I became the husband she cheated on and left for a younger, fitter man. Karma caught up with me—I hope it catches up with her too.
An Old Flame
She ran into her teenage sweetheart on Facebook, and after months of chatting, they got caught seeing each other. What still annoys me is that whenever I asked about it, she’d lash out, accusing me of jealousy, questioning why I couldn’t be friends with Robi, telling me not to take out my insecurities on her, and asking why I married her if I didn’t trust her. She performed all this with such Oscar-worthy acting that I ended up feeling guilty and apologizing, while they were regularly fooling around in our bed. Just thinking about it makes me want to throw up.
