Women who have always been single, what’s life like after 40? Do single women really end up lonely cat-ladies?
One Aspect
There’s just one thing I sometimes envy about my married friends, and that’s finances. Life is easier with two incomes, but I’ve always paid rent, mortgage, bills, car expenses, and food all on my own. All my friends are better off financially, but not so much that I’d regret not having a partner. Honestly, I couldn’t handle the stories they tell me about their husbands every day—yikes.
Balance
Sometimes it’s tough being alone, but when I weigh loneliness against my peace of mind, I always choose being solo.
Twilight
I never felt the need for a man, but now that I’ve just turned 50, I’m more aware of life’s fleeting nature. For the first time, I feel I don’t want to grow old alone—I want a companion.
The Panic
When I was younger, I had boyfriends but never a serious relationship. I’ve always lived alone and was fine with it since I never wanted kids, so finding a partner wasn’t a priority. My friends married, had children, then hit their 40s and started divorcing one by one. Some were replaced by younger men, others left after their kids grew up. Now they’re all trying to dive back into dating and panic over how awful the whole "dating culture" is—or rather, how much it’s missing. They fear being alone forever. I get that it’s hard to be single after many years of marriage, but I just smile because I wouldn’t trade this single life they dread for anything.
Worth It
I’ve never had a partner, but I have a daughter who means the world to me. Raising her was my life’s purpose, my greatest adventure, and it’s pure joy to see her successful and happy. I don’t feel like anything—or anyone—is missing from my life.
Ups and Downs
Both relationships and solitude have their pros and cons. I chose single life consciously because I’m someone who struggles with compromise and prefers my own world. Loneliness hits me sometimes, but rarely—and since turning 47, even less. I think it really depends on the person how they handle this lifestyle, but those who choose it rarely regret it.
It’s a Matter of Taste
Until I was 30, I only had casual flings and realized early on that my taste in men was terrible. I’m better off not forcing a relationship. So, selfishly, I live life my way without having to adjust to anyone. Luckily, my sister’s husband is a great guy who fixes all the “man stuff” I need.
I Don’t Know
I’m 43 and have never had a relationship in the strict sense. Since I’ve lived this way my whole life, I have no point of comparison. Still, I feel balanced and even happy—I love life.
Zen
Oh, it’s so good! I look around at women in marriages or relationships and can’t understand how they put up with those unbearable guys they live with. There isn’t a single marriage in my circle that I’d envy for even a minute. I’m close with colleagues, have a big family, many friends, and am active in communities through hobbies and sports—so I have a wide sample. Everyone—women and men alike—just complains about their partner; I never hear a kind word about them. So thanks, I made the best choice by intentionally staying out of this circus.
A Matter of Perspective
It depends on your personality. If you enjoy being alone—like me—you’re fine. But if you’re relationship-dependent—like one of my best friends—and still single in middle age, it’s hell. I’ve never lived with a man because I enjoy my own company and don’t mind going days without talking to anyone, while she suffers terribly being alone.
