"My fiancé doesn’t stop the waitress who flirts with him." What does this say about the relationship? It’s humiliating when someone flirts with your partner right before your eyes, and they do nothing.
Confidence
I once dated a guy who openly flirted with anyone right in front of me. When I called him out, he said it was because I lacked confidence. That always shut me up—until I found out he was cheating all along. Since then, I know better than to fall for manipulative tactics.
Tips for Tipping
A friend of mine works as a bartender at a club I visit. She told me guys constantly flirt with her—which isn’t surprising, since she’s stunning—and she plays along a bit to earn better tips. At first, I accepted it, but then I witnessed a few moments that crossed my boundaries. When I mentioned it, she shut me down immediately.
She said her last two boyfriends did the same and she’s tired of jealousy. If I kept it up, she said we should part ways. So I stopped going when she worked, but that only made me obsess more about who she might be flirting with. She assures me there’s nothing to worry about because she loves me and chose me, but I still worry she might be fooling me behind my back. I want to trust her fully—I really do—but it’s hard.
Attention
Twice I felt my boyfriend was paying too much attention to another girl while I was around. I didn’t sulk—I told him right away it hurt my feelings. He got upset, said he’d never intentionally hurt me, and apologized. Since then, it hasn’t happened again.
Respect
If this happens, I act immediately because it shows my partner doesn’t respect me.
Obvious Signs
I noticed my husband and a friend’s wife always laughing together. I brushed it off as shared humor, but eventually, their behavior felt like flirting. When I asked about it, both were shocked and offended—my husband got upset, and my friend’s wife cried, asking how I could think that. Well, both deserve Oscars for best actor and actress, because her husband found out they’d been having an affair for months. So my advice: if something feels off, it probably is—there’s no smoke without fire.
The Takeaway
What does this behavior say about the relationship? It means you’re not setting boundaries, and the other person is taking advantage.
Last Chance
I told my ex-girlfriend twice about this issue. After the second time, I warned her that maybe her past boyfriends tolerated it, but I wouldn’t—I’d break up if it happened again. When it did, I left. She messaged me for four months, wanting me back.
Improvement
I once mentioned this to my girlfriend, who said she didn’t feel like she was flirting—she was just being friendly. I told her her behavior felt too forward, and since then, it hasn’t happened again. As adults, we talked it through and solved it. It’s rare, but it happens.
The Middle Ground
I know I used to be a very jealous girlfriend, reading too much into situations where others said I was overreacting. When several people pointed out I was the problem, I reflected and have been working on myself since. I’m not saying I shed jealousy overnight, but I’m definitely getting better.
The Order
The waitress greeted my boyfriend with a 200-watt smile the moment we sat down. She took our order while barely glancing at me, focusing only on him. She came over unusually often to check if the food was okay—and only asked him, not me. At the end, when we didn’t order dessert, she giggled and asked my boyfriend when he’d come back to try his favorite cake. That was the last straw.
I told them I didn’t want to disturb anymore, jumped up, and ran out of the restaurant. My boyfriend followed, confused, asking what was wrong. He said the waitress was just doing her job. In the end, he convinced me I overreacted—or maybe I let him convince me because I love him and don’t have the strength to leave. I’m still not sure.
