Men’s stories about girlfriends and attachment styles.
The Love Language
Since my last breakup, I can’t help but roll my eyes whenever someone brings up love languages. Do women even know who came up with this? I looked it up, thinking it was backed by serious research, but it turns out it was invented by a Baptist preacher with zero scientific psychology behind it. Yet his book became a bestseller, and now he makes a living giving talks on human relationships—great.
My last girlfriend said her love language was gifts. It got to the point where she expected me to bring her something every single time we met. Even if we just grabbed coffee during the day, a coffee or lunch didn’t count as a gift. She wanted a real, wrapped present every time. After a while, I got fed up, especially since she’d get upset if I showed up empty-handed. Then she’d say it showed I didn’t love her because I didn’t speak her love language. I told her to stop with that nonsense. I wonder if she’s found another sucker to play Santa for her since then…
The Mess
Once I told my then-girlfriend she could really tidy up sometimes because her place was such a mess you couldn’t even find a seat. Offended, she lectured me that she had a "disorganized attachment style" and got upset when I laughed and said I doubted that had anything to do with the mess.
The Sticker
I love my girlfriend, but my friends just call her "the sticker" because she literally won’t leave me alone. She says she has an "anxious attachment style" and acts like that explains everything, but her clinginess is unhealthy. I’ve mentioned that it probably comes from barely knowing her dad and not getting love from him, but she denies it. Honestly, she’d be better off seeing a therapist for her daddy issues instead of self-diagnosing based on some women’s magazine article. That way, she might actually get better.
A Tough Choice
On our very first date, she asked me what my love language was. I had no idea, so she listed them and told me to pick one. I said I thought I had all five (there are five, if I remember right) because in a healthy relationship, we should touch, spend time together, and express love with words. But she insisted I choose just one. I picked touch, and she said we weren’t compatible, sipped her coffee, and walked away.
Let’s Just Drop It…
Early on, my girlfriend told me she was "avoidant," meaning she has avoidant personality traits. I was totally clueless because I’d never heard of it. I tried to be understanding, but soon realized she was playing me. Officially, we were a couple, but we barely saw each other because she "self-isolated due to her condition."
That was another new term for me. It’s crazy how many new buzzwords "experts" come up with so some people can excuse bad behavior. The bottom line: I found out she was totally messing around with another guy the whole time. She claims she was just chatting with a friend, but come on—it was obvious she was juggling multiple things and seeing others while "self-isolating."
