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"My husband's buddy puked in the washing machine" – 10 stories about the worst guests ever

Szőke Angéla4 min read
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"My husband's buddy puked in the washing machine" – 10 stories about the worst guests ever — Leisure
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Swarm of Locusts

Swarm of Locusts
My wife’s family lives far away, so luckily I only see them rarely. They were traveling nearby, so we agreed they’d spend one night at our house. They arrived (mother-in-law, father-in-law, brother-in-law, sister-in-law, and their two kids). Even though my wife and I cooked all day, they chose to eat out. They came home late, were noisy all night, and we barely got any sleep. This happened on a weekday; my wife left early for work, and I was the one to see them off.

They said the kids couldn’t leave on an empty stomach, so I made a huge batch of scrambled eggs. Then I told them they’d really be late for work if they stayed, and to leave the key under a rock in the garden because I had to go.

When I got home, no one had touched the eggs—they were swarmed by flies. But they had emptied the entire fridge and dirtied every pot and pan. The kitchen looked like a bomb had exploded. The guest rooms and bathrooms were also a mess. Oh, and when they left with the car, they hit the fence, which we had to fix. I told my wife her family would never set foot in our house again.

A Gift?

A Gift?
I was hosting a girls’ night, and one friend brought her little daughter. The kid touched everything, spilled things, scattered my stuff, and screamed when she found some stickers, insisting they were hers. I told her I was sorry, but those stickers were childhood memories I couldn’t give away. Her mom looked at me like I was the bad guy. Seriously, why was her daughter rummaging through my closet in the first place?

The Colleague

The Colleague
My husband’s coworker got drunk and puked in the washing machine. I only noticed the next day when I went to do laundry.

Peaceful Christmas Wishes

Peaceful Christmas Wishes
My husband’s family wasn’t very friendly to me, but nothing topped what happened during our last Christmas together. I invited my in-laws and brother-in-law’s family over for Christmas dinner. I had everything ready, and my husband and I planned to cook. But his family showed up at noon and told me to leave for a few hours because it was their family tradition to prepare the holiday meal together. At first, I thought it was a joke, but they were serious. I looked at my husband, but he did nothing. So I went to my parents’ house, turned off my phone, and didn’t come back for two days. Needless to say, we’re no longer married.

The Turtle

The Turtle
At a house party, I saw from the kitchen one guest pouring vodka into my turtle’s aquarium water. I rushed over, took the turtle out, and changed the water the next day. I was furious. (Luckily, my turtle was fine.)

Morals

Morals
One of my friends came over for dinner with her new boyfriend—an older guy. There was fireworks in the neighborhood, which made my dog bark. The man, who was just telling us about volunteering at an orphanage in Africa, kicked the dog. My fiancé and I couldn’t believe the moral contradiction. My friend and her boyfriend were shocked and upset when we told them to leave immediately.

Sanitary Pad

Sanitary Pad
I specifically asked my sister-in-law not to flush her sanitary pad because last time it clogged our toilet, and the plumber cost a fortune. She denied it was her, but after she left, the toilet clogged again—and guess what? It was the same brand of pad as last time.

Mother-in-Law

Mother-in-Law
We left my mother-in-law alone for just one afternoon, and when we came back, she had “rearranged and tidied up” our otherwise spotless home. For months, we couldn’t find anything—a pair of scissors, a key, a pot—because she hid everything in impossible places. By the way, some of my old, valuable comics went missing too. I suspect she threw them out.

Still Just a Kid

Still Just a Kid
A friend’s little boy was out of sight for just a few minutes but managed to dismantle all my Lego creations—planes, tanks, hydraulic machines I built years ago. The parents just laughed it off, saying, “Oops, sorry, he’s still little.”

The Test

The Test
One of my friend’s husbands couldn’t tell if our floor was laminate or real wood, so he scratched it with his key. The mark is still there to this day.
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