Is staying at home actually cheaper than paying for childcare?
Sometimes, in the years when you would have several children in paid care at once — but usually only in the short term, because the calculation ignores lost pension contributions and future earnings that would have grown while you worked. The fairer question is whether the saving is worth it for the specific number of years involved, and whether you can partly protect the long-term side with things like continued pension contributions from the earning partner or keeping a small amount of paid work going.
How do you go back to work after years at home?
Earlier and more gradually than most people expect. Keep one thread alive while you are out — a professional membership, a few former colleagues you actually message, a short freelance project, a course that keeps your vocabulary current — because re-entry is far easier from a warm start than a cold one. When you do apply, describe the break plainly in one line and spend the rest of the conversation on what you can do now, rather than apologising for the gap.
How do you keep it fair when only one of you earns?
Treat the income as household money from the first day, not as one person's money that the other one asks for. That means shared visibility of accounts, an agreed personal spending amount for both of you, and an explicit conversation about what happens to savings and pensions during this period. Fairness at home is mostly about information and autonomy, and both are easy to lose without anyone intending it.
