That alone is a startlingly sad fact, but here’s more: 60% of women said they have never experienced orgasm with a partner. Could so many women be unable to reach climax? Not exactly—because they said they can reach orgasm through masturbation. Yet, 44% emphasized that even those climaxes don’t feel like a standout experience. Maybe that’s why most women don’t try to change this statistic? If something isn’t a “big deal” solo, why put in the effort?
A study commissioned by LELO surveyed 2,000 sexually active women. These women shared that when it comes to pleasure, they prefer to take care of themselves rather than rely on their partners. Specifically, 71% said they help themselves reach climax more often after sex with their partner.
Researchers found that masturbation plays a key role not only in adolescence but throughout adulthood. The survey also revealed that time spent exploring one’s own body proved very beneficial and positively impacted later relationships. Still, experts noted that 71% is a high number, even if masturbation can help improve relationships.
Many reported that masturbation helped them communicate more honestly with their partners. This boosts confidence to share what they truly prefer. In fact, 75% said there’s nothing wrong with female masturbation. Yet, 63% believe myths still surround the topic.
“It’s concerning that 63% of participants still feel female masturbation and pleasure are stigmatized topics,” said Sara Kranjčec Jukić.
We Keep Our Sex Toys a Secret
Since such a large share of sexually active women masturbate, it’s no surprise many own sex toys. 46% said they have purchased products for masturbation. Those who don’t use these tools with their partners are more likely to think their partner wouldn’t approve.
61% worry their partner would misunderstand or disapprove if they introduced a toy during sex or revealed they own one. Maybe that’s why 57% keep their toys a secret. Nearly as many—60%—said they simply prefer to use these toys alone.
Where Could This Lead?
“Sexual positivity is really about believing sexuality is a normal, healthy part of human experience,” Kranjčec Jukić added. “While attitudes toward sex and masturbation are improving, we still have a long way to go before these views can truly flourish.”
Still, it’s worrying that at least one in two or three women simply can’t reach climax even in long-term relationships, while solo orgasm is no problem.
Previous studies confirmed women tend to put men’s pleasure first, often sidelining their own.
Many even fake orgasms to boost their partner’s confidence and satisfaction. But we need to ask ourselves: wouldn’t our true happiness be what makes our life partner happiest? Many fear reshaping their sex lives. Even more try to live up to the unrealistic expectations set by porn.
In reality, very few women experience mind-blowing pleasure in any position or situation from penetration alone. As long as men push this approach and women try to meet it, we can’t expect this statistic to improve anytime soon.
