Mental Hygiene
When my husband told her that I had started therapy—to process a childhood trauma—my mother-in-law clapped her hands and said, "Surely she won't have a grandchild from such a 'crazy' person like you?!"
Separate
She told me with a suspicious smile that she knew I was vegetarian, so she cooked separately for me. This surprised me because she had never done that before, but I was grateful. The food tasted strange, but I didn’t say anything. However, the next day my stomach was upset all day and I vomited; in the evening my husband took me to the hospital where I received an IV. It turned out that my sister-in-law and mother-in-law had "jokingly" made me stew from half-rotten vegetables and secretly added a bit of bacon to "give it some flavor."
Kuc-kuc
I was eight months pregnant when she insisted on visiting us. I have asthma, so I asked her to get tested to make sure she wasn’t COVID-positive. (This happened during the pandemic.) She said she was healthy but showed up sneezing and coughing. She admitted to my husband that she hadn’t been tested, but assured him it wasn’t COVID and besides, "what harm could it do me if she coughs?"
First Impressions
When we first met, she wrinkled her nose in disgust and said she hoped my personality was good since I was so ugly. I immediately turned on my heel and left, never willing to meet her again. A person like that doesn’t deserve to be part of my life.
About-face
I was on good terms with my mother-in-law for two years, then when her son got engaged, she turned 180 degrees and started scheming against me. Suddenly, she befriended my husband’s ex-wife—whom she had hated from the bottom of her heart—and constantly compared me unfavorably to her. During the wedding planning, she behaved like a nightmare. She demanded that the bridesmaids’ dresses be a different color because it "didn’t match" her outfit. When I was crying every day because of her, my husband told her that we would only welcome her at our wedding if she left the drama behind. She didn’t come and hasn’t spoken to us since.
The Inheritance
I lost my mother early, so I was very close to my mother-in-law. She always said I was like a daughter to her because she always wanted a girl but ended up with three sons. Our bond remained strong even when my husband suddenly died. I called her three times a week, and we talked for at least an hour each time. Twice a month, my daughter and I visited her, and we greeted her with gifts at every holiday. I should add that her other two sons and their families only visited her at Christmas. I took her to the doctor and when she was unwell in her last years, either my daughter or I did the shopping for her (with our own money). When she died, I was shocked to learn at the probate hearing that I was not mentioned in her will. It turned out she had a lot of money but played the role of a poor old lady just for me. My daughter received the compulsory share after my husband, but the two sons—who never even looked at the old lady—each became richer by several million forints, and their wives got the many pieces of jewelry. I didn’t expect any serious inheritance; I would have been happy with a bracelet, but I can’t get over the fact that I loved her like a mother for 15 years, and she treated me as if I didn’t even exist in her will.
Discipline
I was pregnant with my twin boys when my mother-in-law told me what their names would be. I told her that my husband and I would decide their names, but thanks for the suggestion. She looked at my husband and said, "Do you let her talk to me like that and you don’t even slap her?" That was our last meeting. My husband sometimes takes the kids to her, but since then I have been no-contact with my mother-in-law.
Last Will
When she told my husband that he should either divorce me or leave nothing to me in the will. This didn’t surprise me; I knew she hated me and even jokingly told my husband to tell her we divorced because the old maid had a huge fortune. But my husband got so upset that he told his mother he hoped she thought it was worth it because we would never speak to her again. That was four years ago, and my mother-in-law has tried to make peace, but my husband is adamant.
The Apparition
I repeatedly asked her not to come to see me in the hospital. I had a planned cesarean for health reasons and couldn’t bear the bossy, annoying mother-in-law during the first two difficult days. Yet she came in, lectured me about everything, and upset me so much that I finally asked a nurse to take her out because I couldn’t stand it anymore. She hasn’t contacted me since, and we haven’t reached out either; she hasn’t even seen her grandchild.
Defective
When she found out I was gluten intolerant, she said to her son within my earshot that he shouldn’t marry me because I was "defective goods."
