When you’re in love, there’s no way you start a relationship thinking it will one day be open, with others invited in. Many see open marriage as a way to add a physical, sexual spark that might be missing between partners. If they can’t fulfill their desires together, it’s a gamble: either the marriage falls apart, or they accept that they love each other but crave something different. That’s when open marriage becomes an option—a choice both partners must make.
Anna and Viktor
“We’ve been together forever, married for 12 years. The early days were great; we were on the same wavelength,” Anna shares. “Then came a rough patch, and we both felt things couldn’t stay as they were. Viktor suggested we try seeing other people. At first, I was skeptical—it felt strange because we love each other. I didn’t understand how sleeping with others could benefit our relationship. We set clear rules: no bringing partners home, always sharing what happened, never holding things against each other, and if emotions got complicated, we’d talk immediately to handle it. It’s working now; our sex life and relationship have both improved.”
For Anna and Viktor, open marriage has been a win because they both agreed and embraced it. But it’s not always that simple for everyone.
Viki and Boldizsár
“Open marriage? No way! That’s what I thought when Viki brought it up,” Boldizsár begins. “I was in denial, thinking our marriage problems were temporary and would resolve. But they didn’t. At first, it all felt so foreign, but Viki convinced me to try. I loved her and didn’t want to be with others, and honestly, I was scared because she felt differently. I agreed but only slept with one woman, and I felt awful. Viki, however, realized our marriage wouldn’t work anymore because she didn’t feel the same. We’re divorcing now. It was my choice—I thought it was best.”
Open marriage only works if both partners want it, see the opportunity in it, and accept it. Of course, there are rules both must follow equally.
Veronika and Tamás
“Our marriage is a bit unconventional,” says Tamás. “We were both divorced before we got together and neither of us wanted to settle down. Then came the big love, and everything got more complicated. From the start, we agreed not to be exclusive but to keep things open. It came naturally to both of us, and we quickly adapted. Emotionally, we belong only to each other—there’s nothing else in our relationship. I don’t know how long this will last, but for now, it’s good.”
Sometimes, even when both accept open marriage and live it, one partner blames themselves for the other’s different needs.
Erika and Kristóf
“I accepted Kristóf’s idea of an open marriage,” Erika shares. “But it was really hard for me. I didn’t want to imagine my love, my husband, with other women. I felt it was my fault—that maybe he wasn’t getting everything from me, so he thought we should try others. It’s still tough, but I’m trying to come to terms with it. I believe neither of us could be happy with anyone else, and I think Kristóf will realize that eventually. The option is there for me too, but I haven’t felt ready to be with anyone else, even for one night. We’ll see what happens, but right now, I’m not truly happy. The problem is Kristóf doesn’t really want to talk about any of this.”
Sometimes a marriage stops working emotionally. In those cases, open marriage isn’t a solution but an escape that can break apart the bond the couple has or had.
Gerda and Zsolt
“Our marriage was total chaos. We couldn’t agree on anything,” says Zsolt. “There was no love left between Gerda and me—actually, we hated each other. Since we run a business together, we didn’t want to divorce, but things couldn’t continue like that. I suggested open marriage, and Gerda agreed right away. Unfortunately, it went badly. Gerda quickly fell for another man, and I drifted from one woman to another. It was never good because we just hurt each other at home. We realized it wasn’t working and couldn’t keep steering our marriage this way. We decided to divorce, splitting assets amicably. Gerda is with her love now, and I’m still searching for happiness.”
Divorce is often the only solution in a marriage, but it’s always worth trying to fix things if there’s still a chance. The only way is to talk openly about problems—this applies to both “traditional” and open marriages alike.
