It’s never easy when you can’t remove someone from your life because of your child, even though you never want to see them again.
Joy
My ex-wife simply wouldn’t let our child enjoy time with me. No matter where I took him that he liked, I could see the guilt weighing on him. I couldn’t fix that, but I told my five-year-old, “I know this is hard for you, but I’m doing everything for your sake, and you can always count on me.” I kept living my life because happiness is the best revenge. Time proved me right—my son is now 18 and has moved in with me.
The impossible
My ex is a textbook narcissist—a master manipulator. The only good thing he’s done in his life is our little boy, nothing else. For years, I tried to cooperate with him for the child’s sake, but I realized it was a lost cause.
You can’t truly cooperate with a narcissist because "cooperate" means working together with shared effort and intention—and that just doesn’t exist in their world. I don’t have advice here; I just grew numb to his games and stopped reacting. I had no choice but to become immune.
The boat
Co-parenting with my ex-wife felt like we were in the same boat—I was rowing with all my might, while she used her oar to scoop water into the boat. We weren’t moving forward; we were just going in circles and sinking. Things got a bit better when she met her new partner and stopped focusing on me.
Delegation
I hated my ex-husband so much I couldn’t even talk to him. So I delegated all communication to my mom. He doesn’t even have my number because he would constantly call, text, harass, and threaten me. I’m done with legal battles—they drained my time and money with no results. Now, if he wants anything, he has to go through my mom.
The poison that kills
My ex-wife is truly toxic, poisoning everything and everyone around her. My lawyer warned me not to expect smooth co-parenting, but I naively hoped she’d put the kids first. I was wrong. From then on, she did everything to poison the kids’ minds against me. Since they spent two weeks with her and two weeks with me, I couldn’t protect them from it. When I got them back, they barely spoke to me for two days, as if they resented me. Then they gradually warmed up, and our second week was great. But after that, two more weeks of brainwashing started again, calling me the worst person in the world. It was brutal, and only got easier when the kids grew older and saw the truth.
Torture
It was heartbreaking to see my ex-husband promise the kids trips to the zoo, go-karting, and other fun outings. The kids would get excited, dress up, and pack their bags, then wait for hours while he never showed up or even called to cancel. And you know he did it just to hurt you. There’s no greater torture for a mother.
The fight
I didn’t show anger openly when my ex broke promises—I kept track and communicated everything in writing. When enough piled up, I went to court. After years of fighting, I finally got full custody. My advice: keep written records, gather witnesses, and have endless patience.
The competition
My ex-husband was always competing with me. He bought more expensive gifts, took the kids on more exotic vacations, and was way more lenient. He tried to outdo me in every way. It didn’t work—I didn’t play his game. I figured at least he was spending money on entertaining the kids, so that was something. When the kids shared their adventures, I genuinely celebrated their happiness.
V is for vendetta
Try raising a child with someone who, after you leave, makes it their personal mission to get revenge on you using the child. You can’t win—don’t even try. All you can do is love your child fiercely and keep going.
Make it official
I insisted on communicating only in writing, specifically by email, because it holds up in court. Since then, my ex has been able to talk to me in a normal tone. I also set boundaries: I only read messages between 9 a.m. and 6 p.m. so I’m not disturbed at night. Setting clear ground rules really helped.
