Massage
I work 12 hours a day at the company, while my wife works part-time for four hours. I get that after work, taking care of the kids, and house chores, she’s not in the mood to cuddle. She understands my needs, so once every week or two, I "legally" go for a Thai massage that ends with a so-called "happy finish." (This means the masseuse provides some extra hand relief for a fee.) Some might find this surprising, but it’s been working for us for years.
Simply
I just told my husband to help out with the housework and kids, then we’d see how my libido returns. From then on, he did the shopping, unloaded the dishwasher, vacuumed, bathed, and put the kids to bed. Two things happened at once: he stopped pestering me about sex because he was tired, and my desire came back because I felt more rested. Now our desire is balanced, and harmony is restored.
In Private
After 14 years together, the spark just wasn’t there anymore. We love each other, but sex felt like watching the same movie for the 200th time. We used to enjoy it, but now we’re bored. Our solution? Swinging. It felt strange at first, but we quickly got into it and absolutely love it.
Don’t Ask
My wife told me straight up she no longer wants sex, and I accepted that. Neither of us wanted a divorce, so following the "don’t ask, don’t tell" rule, I sometimes "switch off." I don’t use this freedom often—only when I really feel the need.
Give and Take
My husband let himself go and grew a big belly—so big that sex became physically difficult, and he lost interest because he was ashamed of his body. I started cooking healthier meals, and we began working out together. As he lost weight, his confidence and desire for sex came back.
Winning Me Back
I told my husband if he wanted more sex, he needed to win me back—and he got the message. Since then, he plans romantic dates, pays attention to me, brings flowers, and more. He learned that when he puts in effort, I do too.
It Doesn’t Hurt
We’d been married five years when sex started to fade, and after ten years, my wife said she was done with me pestering her and wanted me to leave it alone for good. "Go and solve it with someone else in secret—what I don’t know won’t hurt me," were her exact words. Since then, I’ve been seeing a single coworker. She has no partner but has needs, just like me. I told her upfront this is just sex, no divorce involved, and she accepted it. That’s how we live now.
Desires
My wife craved romance, and I wanted sex, so we made a deal: once a week, everyone gets what they want. I take her out to dinner, theater, concerts, or wherever she wants, and she sleeps with me once a week. I’m not thrilled about dressing up for fancy dinners or concerts, but I do it for her. I guess she’s not always excited to get tangled in the sheets with me either, but she does it. Honestly, this setup works well for both of us.
Wild Desires
In our case, my wife has the bigger sexual appetite—or maybe she just tells me that because she doesn’t want sex with me anymore, I don’t know. Either way, we opened up our marriage. I only asked that her partners use condoms because I’m seriously afraid of STDs. In the past year and a half, she’s had two partners, showed me pictures, and told me about them. She was with one only once because they didn’t click in bed, and the other was a few months but ended too. Our agreement lets me also have affairs, but I’ve only taken that chance once—getting tangled with a coworker at a company party after a few drinks.
Regularity
In three years, my husband and I had sex only once—on his birthday, when we came home tipsy from a party. I read an article about sexless marriages and sent it to him. One solution was scheduled intimacy, which we tried. First once a month, then every two weeks, and now after six months, it’s once a week. I’m glad our marriage didn’t fall apart, and we’ve rediscovered joy in each other and in bed.
