Sex workers, who see the husbands as clients, categorize millennial wives into distinct types.
The Boss Lady
Recently, I chatted with my “colleagues” about the typical wives of our businessman clients. These women usually work in corporate environments and treat their marriages like projects to manage—often over-managing them. Kids are seen as mandatory accessories, and the husband is the necessary evil, the weakest link. Like a coworker you can’t fire—or could, but who wants to deal with HR headaches? One client said his wife hasn’t seen him as a man for years, just as a subordinate.
The Trophy Wife
The stunning trophy wife who sculpts her perfect body at the gym. Besides that, she only visits lash artists, nail salons, hairdressers, beauticians, and cosmetic clinics—and, of course, shops. Her husband shows me her Instagram and rolls his eyes, complaining they don’t go out anymore because wherever they go, he has to snap fifty photos before she’s happy with one to post. These wives often look better than us but feel so empty that their husbands usually come to us seeking a little human connection.
The Perfect Mom
This archetype lives solely for her children. Her husband mattered only until she got pregnant; after that, it’s “job done, time to move on.” She’s the one who shuttles her kids to school and countless activities, with every thought revolving around her little ones, defining her existence through them. She bakes perfect treats and dresses the kids alike for the Christmas family photo, where everyone smiles wide but forced. Her husband admits she’s a nervous wreck who was yelling at a child half an hour before the photo because they dirtied their uniform pants.
The Average Wife
Most wives are average women who were madly in love with their husbands when they met—and vice versa. But the gray daily grind wore down their love, which got lost somewhere between routine fights and resignation. Arguments over who walks the dog, who didn’t do the dishes, or what movie to watch. These women dreamed of a different life than the one they got. They didn’t want to live like their mothers, but in the end, everything turned out the same. They waited so long to have kids that it was too late and they lost affection for their husbands. They blame their dull, gray lives on their husbands, and their husbands blame them. Both feel lonely and resentful.
Us
Saving the best for last: the disillusioned millennial women. We grew up watching Sex and the City, thinking we’d live like Carrie and her friends. A fun job we enjoy, covering rent for a new apartment—which would later become our own place—dinners at trendy restaurants, and a designer wardrobe. I wasn’t greedy, never dreamed of the fanciest downtown neighborhood, and managed without Manolo Blahniks, but reality was tougher.
I worked from dawn till dusk, cooked for myself, wore discounted ready-to-wear clothes, and after paying rent for my rundown suburban studio, barely had money left. We thought we’d be Carrie Bradshaws but ended up with nothing but survival and relationship anxiety. Many got fed up and chose sex work instead, because at least that way, we can live out some version of the life those TV characters had.
