1. Unintentionally Intimidating
I never knew I had a "resting bitch face"—that default look that comes off as grumpy or aloof—until my classmates pointed it out. Once, shyly, I mentioned I’d love to join them after school, and they all gasped, saying they never dared invite me because I always looked so unwelcoming.
I asked my best friend about it, and she said since we’ve known each other forever, she never noticed. But every friend who met me mentioned it. Since then, I’ve been trying to soften my expression.
2. Therapy
Four years into therapy, my therapist gently suggested I might be narcissistic. I was shocked but took a hard look and realized I do have quite a few narcissistic traits. When I told my friends, they just rolled their eyes, saying it was about time I admitted it.
3. My Singing Voice
I never knew I couldn’t actually sing. I’ve loved singing and going to karaoke bars, where I always felt like a star. Then after a party, a friend asked if he could send me a video of my “performance.”
I said sure, excited to see it, but he hesitated, sending a laughing emoji and asking, “Are you sure?” I didn’t get it until I watched the video. It was awful; I have no pitch! My singing would only work as a crowd dispersal tactic, and no one ever told me.
4. Interrupting
My boyfriend came home drunk from a bachelor party and sweetly told me how much he loves me—despite the fact that I always finish other people’s sentences, which drives him crazy. I felt like sinking into the floor because I’d never thought about it, but I immediately knew he was right.
5. Head Size
I have a huge head. I didn’t realize until we went rafting with my girlfriends and I had to find an extra-large helmet because all the others were too small. Ever since, my confidence has taken a hit—I can’t stop thinking about my big head, so this isn’t the best news.
6. Hands and Feet
Someone asked if I was Italian. It caught me off guard because I’m not, so I asked why. They said it was because I "talk with my hands."
I’d never noticed before, but afterward, I realized I do gesture enthusiastically. Since then, I try to dial it back. Sometimes I catch myself halfway raising my hand mid-conversation and quickly lower it.
7. Caveman
My ex told me my forehead looked like a caveman’s. And it’s true: I never understood why I couldn’t shape my eyebrows nicely, but now I see it’s because my brow bone sticks out along my entire forehead. I wish I hadn’t known because there’s nothing to do about it, and now I might think of myself as a caveman forever.
8. Oversharing
My girlfriends once sat me down and explained I don’t need to share my most intimate details with people I just met minutes ago. I knew I was direct, but they pointed out I don’t have to tell the lady in line at the store that I broke up with my boyfriend yesterday because the sex wasn’t good.
9. Concentration Habit
My parents told me—when I was already in my twenties—that I stick my tongue out to the left when I concentrate. I didn’t believe them at first, but then my mom showed me a bunch of childhood and teen photos to prove it. Now my four-year-old son does it too.
10. Fun
My husband pointed out I never do anything just for fun. When I have free time, I start prepping for the next day, cleaning, organizing, or fixing things around the house—but I don’t do anything solo that’s purely for recreation. I really should see a professional…
