What annoys you about the ways your partner tries to be "sweet"?
Dinner
When I come home and he’s cooked dinner for me. He cooks well and the food is always tasty, but the kitchen turns into a disaster zone afterward—and I’m the one left to clean it all up. Piles of dirty dishes, food on the floor, counters, and walls. And I’m supposed to be grateful for having a guy who sometimes makes the effort to surprise me with dinner? Honestly, I’d rather skip the surprise.
Hardships
When he buys me something and then goes on about the "terrible struggles" he had to overcome to get it. You got me a chocolate bar even though the line at the checkout was long? Babe, you’re a hero! You picked up our daughter through the worst traffic? What a wonderful dad you are, thanks for not giving up! Every time he gives me something, it’s like he’s Frodo crossing Mordor’s fire. Last time, he spent twenty minutes explaining how hard it was to get my birthday cake! Sweetheart, I’m touched you managed to get a simple chocolate cake—thank you!
Hugs
When he hugs me from behind or starts kissing my neck while I’m washing dishes. Honestly, I’d appreciate it more if he just jumped in to help.
Vacation
When he "takes me on vacation," but I have to pack for everyone, take care of the kids all day while he’s drinking beer, cook, and then do all the laundry, drying, ironing, and tidying up when we get home. I work full-time too, and we share the budget—why does he think this is romantic?
Shower
When he wants to have sex while I’m showering. Should I explain that I’m exfoliating and my skin is covered in scrub? That I need to rinse the color shampoo out of my hair? Or that I’m shaving my bikini line? The shower is my self-care and relaxation zone—not a place for sex.
Babysitter
When he generously "watches the kids," like he’s some kind of babysitter instead of their dad. Babe, these are your kids too—being a dad is your responsibility, not a favor.
The Gift
When he buys a gift that he actually enjoys more than I do. I’ve gotten romantic cabin getaways “accidentally” next to a fishing lake, so he could fish while I relaxed in the hot tub. He surprised me with go-karting—knowing I get bored after one lap—and took me to a horror movie even though he knows I’m scared of them.
Sensual Massage
When he offers to massage me because he "sees I need it," and it always turns into a sensual massage—that is, foreplay. If he sees I’m tired, why does he think I’ll have energy for sex? Same when he just cuddles up to me: it always ends with him wanting sex.
Helper
When he helps around the house and expects me to be blown away. I’ve decided next time not to praise him for mowing the lawn, taking out the trash, or doing laundry, but to say, "Great job! Since this is your home too, I won’t be thanking you every time you do something."
Grab
When he grabs my butt while I’m cleaning. He loves it and always grins, but it drives me crazy. I try to think it’s sweet he still finds me sexy vacuuming in sweatpants, but I’m afraid one day I’ll catch him at the wrong moment and give him a smack. (Just kidding.)
