What Do the Experts Say?
According to coach Dr. Gertrude Lyons, the key is giving your child your full, undivided attention. To do that, you need to mentally switch gears a bit. For example, while waiting for them to get home, take a moment to prepare yourself for the conversation. Sip a coffee, step outside, or simply pause your work—anything that helps you focus better on them.
Spend a few minutes together in the afternoon—playing or just sitting on the couch—to connect.
It’s not about how long you talk, but how you connect. This is especially important after school since you’ve spent part of the day apart. Experts say these chats boost your child’s sense of security and gradually build their trust, says Dr. Lyons.
Here Are 6 Questions to Discover How Your Elementary Schooler’s Day Went
As we mentioned, the question "How was your day?" often gets a simple "Good," which ends the conversation quickly. That’s why it’s better to dive into details with questions like these:
- What did you play with today?
- Did anything funny, surprising, or exciting happen at school?
- What was the best part of your day?
- What was challenging for you today?
- What made you proud of yourself today?
- I love hearing you talk about... (choose a specific topic your child enjoys sharing about).
The key is to make the questions more interesting and avoid overly general ones. You don’t have to use all these ideas—just pick a few that feel right.
With teens, psychologists say it’s trickier, but these questions still work well. Timing matters a lot—car rides, walks, watching TV, or bedtime chats often help teens open up. The goal is to create a calm space where they feel safe and comfortable sharing.
Dr. Lyons also suggests other ways to connect with younger kids, like the "Emotion Game." This involves reflecting on your day through five basic feelings: fear, pain, anger, sadness, and joy. It leads to deeper, more meaningful conversations than just listing activities. Still, the most important thing is your attention—it can turn even the simplest talks into something special.
