Keep your partner a person, not a case file
There is also a question of dignity that nobody quite wants to raise. Most of us would be uncomfortable learning that the private details of our marriage — the thing said in the kitchen we immediately regretted, the health worry, the family history — had been typed verbatim into a service somewhere. You do not need to be paranoid about it; you do need to notice that you are telling someone else's story too.
A reasonable line: use it for your own feelings and your own words, lightly on his. And keep a human in the loop. One friend, one sister, one person who has met him and will tell you the truth. The warmth of being known by someone who remembers your last three relationships is not something a chat window replicates, however well it writes.
Is it disloyal to talk about my relationship with an AI?
Not inherently — people have always processed their relationships elsewhere, in diaries, with friends, on long walks. What matters is the spirit of it: are you trying to understand him better, or build a stronger case against him? If you would be comfortable telling your partner, in general terms, that you sometimes write things out to get clear before you talk, you are probably on the right side of the line.
How do I tell whether I need advice or a professional?
If the same conflict keeps returning in the same shape no matter how well you phrase it, if either of you feels unsafe, or if you are using the chat to avoid the conversation altogether rather than prepare for it, that is the point to speak to a couples therapist or counsellor. A trained person can hear both accounts in the same room, which is precisely the thing a one-sided transcript can never do.
