From Party Girl to Hermit
When I was young, I had lots of friends, we partied all the time, and men adored me. Then after 30, my friends started families and we drifted apart. Approaching 40, the interest from men faded too. I never married or had children, and now at 48, I’m as alone as can be. I work from home, so I have no colleagues, my parents have passed away, and I have no other relatives. The only human interaction I get is chatting with the cashier at the store. I never imagined I’d be this lonely, but I’ve gotten used to it and—since I can’t change it—I’ve accepted it.
Great!
Thanks for asking: my life is really good! I’ve had relationships—boring, exhausting, toxic, and even abusive—so when the last one ended, I decided to stop dating. It was liberating because since then, I do exactly what I want. If I’d known being alone could feel this good, I would have ended things much sooner.
Therapy
Sometimes the silence is so loud it almost screams, and in those moments, I’d give anything for someone to hug and comfort me. Most of the time, I manage on my own. When it gets tough, I open a bottle of wine, put on some music, or watch a romantic comedy and cry a little—therapeutically speaking. After that, I always feel better and can continue my lonely but overall content life.
Getting Harder
I was never the super-social type, and my family relationship was never close. I divorced at 35 with no kids, and that’s when my “chronic loneliness” began. I thought it would get easier over time, but it hasn’t. I’m not old enough for retirement activities, so I’m pretty stuck. It might sound sad, but when I feel like I’m losing it from loneliness, I chat with ChatGPT.
The Usual
I’m an only child, and my parents worked a lot, so I was often alone even as a kid. I had a few friendships and relationships, but none lasted. Now I have no one, but honestly, I don’t miss anyone. The world is crazier every day, people too, and I’m perfectly fine on my own.
Eased
I didn’t have a big family, and my parents died relatively young, so I was happy when I met my husband at 23. His family became mine, his friends became my friends. We had two kids, and I was happy—until he announced he wanted a divorce when I was 45. He turned my 13- and 15-year-old children against me, so they stayed with him. After the divorce, I was left with just a small apartment where the kids rarely visited. I lost everyone.
Today, my kids live abroad, and I barely keep in touch. They wish me happy birthday and Christmas, maybe call once a year. When I reach out, they’re always busy. It feels unfair that this is how life dealt me my hand—I’m not a bad person and didn’t deserve to be left all alone.
All Alone
I’m alone. Sometimes days go by without anyone to talk to. When I feel myself closing in, I meditate, do yoga, or go for a walk. Volunteering helps keep depression at bay because it makes me feel needed and that my life matters.
Fantastic!
My family caused me nothing but pain and frustration all my life, so I felt relieved when I cut ties with them. Friends disappointed me too—they didn’t add anything positive to my life, so I don’t miss them either. Since removing these toxic elements, it feels like a huge weight has lifted, and I feel so much better!
Reminder
When I feel lonely and occasionally call a family member, I regret it after two minutes and can’t wait to say goodbye. If I decide to go out once a year with coworkers, after half an hour I’m already thinking about how to escape and go home. I’m fine in my little world—I don’t miss company. When the emptiness hurts deeply, I call a helpline. I cry out my sadness, they listen with understanding, and afterward, I feel better.
The Phoenix
After moving abroad and leaving everyone behind, I slowly started to heal and soar. I don’t know anyone here, and no one knows me—and that’s just fine. I won’t say I don’t have lonely days when I feel sorry for myself, but overall, I’m free and calm. In solitude, I found my inner peace.
