As a mature woman, my approach to life has become more relaxed because I’ve stopped doing the following things.
Regret
I used to be weighed down by so many regrets: things I wished I’d done differently, lying awake at night wondering what if… What if I had studied somewhere else, accepted that job abroad, bought that apartment, or not broken up with that man? Now, I don’t regret anything because those choices shaped who I am today—and that’s a good place to be emotionally.
Treats
I no longer use food and drink as rewards. I’ve learned moderation, enjoying a little sweet or a glass of wine every day. When I don’t deny myself these small pleasures, I don’t crave or overindulge.
Gratitude
As I age, I appreciate what I have more deeply. I feel lucky for all the good in my life and now value things I once took for granted. Every night, I give thanks for my friends, my dog and cat, my lovely little home, the park my balcony overlooks, and more.
Decluttering
A few years ago, I realized I’d accumulated too much stuff that just weighed me down. I gave away my never-used, always dusty mug collection, keeping only a few favorites. I cleared out 80% of my wardrobe, so now every piece I own is one I truly love. Every six months, I try to declutter my home, and I never miss what I let go of—instead, I feel lighter each time.
Letting Go of Struggles
When I was younger, winning every argument was important to me—I’d even spend hours debating strangers at parties just to prove my point. Today, I don’t do that anymore. Whether it’s politics or anything else: I agree to disagree and let it go. I no longer expect everyone to think like me.
The Unchangeable
I no longer try to change what can’t be changed. I’ve accepted I won’t be younger, and my knees feel the weather changes. I know I won’t spend my retirement in a villa by Lake Como as I once dreamed, and my bundt cake will never taste like my mother’s. And that’s perfectly okay.
Other People’s Opinions
I don’t care what others think of me. I’ve learned people don’t spend nearly as much time or energy thinking about me as I once imagined—they’re mostly focused on themselves, just like I am. The days when it was crucial to be liked by everyone are over. Now, I’m happiest just being myself.
My Body
I’m no longer angry at my body—I’ve made peace with every part of it. My wide hips, fine hair, and crooked nose. Like an old car, my body shows signs of wear but I know it will carry me wherever I want to go for a long time.
Comparisons
Once, life felt like a race. I constantly checked where others were: who was married, who had kids, a big house, a promotion, or still looked great. Now I know it’s pointless to envy others’ lives because we never really see the whole picture. I’m healthy, I’m not lacking, and I’m loved by some—that’s more than enough.
Appearance
I don’t wear high heels because they’re uncomfortable, even though I tortured myself in them until I was 45. I no longer care what impression my looks make on others. I’m not careless about my appearance, but I’ve embraced my gray hair and left behind the battle with hair dye, just like I’ve given up high heels.
