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I’m 64. If you’re in your 40s or 50s, here’s some advice from me

Szőke Angéla3 min read
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I’m 64. If you’re in your 40s or 50s, here’s some advice from me — Lifestyle
In this article

Looking Back

If you’re cursing your age and mourning your lost youth, remember: when you hit your 60s, you’ll long for the days when you were just in your 40s or 50s. If you’re grumbling about wrinkles and thinning hair now, heads up—it won’t get much better later (actually, it might get worse). So, let it go and enjoy being a vibrant 40- or 50-something beauty.

Take Action!

If your marriage isn’t working, step out of it. You’re still young with at least 30-40 years ahead! Being on your own is way better than staying with a partner who demands too much and disrespects you. (I divorced at 60 and wish I’d done it in my 40s.) Don’t fear solitude—it’s mostly men who struggle with it, not women.

Half the Battle

Be cautious with cosmetic procedures! A little tweak can help, but don’t go overboard with fillers—avoid ending up with a pillow face. Confidence doesn’t come from others; it’s something you grow yourself. We’re not born with it, it’s not handed out, and no one gifts it. Be your own best friend.

Advice from older women
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Lifestyle

Learn to love your body now. Don’t aim to be skinny—aim to be strong. Prioritize weight training over excessive cardio; your bones will thank you and your body will reward you. Fat isn’t the enemy, so don’t cut out butter, eggs, and bacon completely. Healthy fats are essential—they lubricate your joints, keep your skin elastic, and support brain function.

Teeth

Don’t neglect your teeth, or before you know it dentures might be your only option. Yes, dental care can be pricey, but think of it as an investment. Among my friends over 60, I’m the only one who can still bite into an apple.

Tough Times

Remember the saying: if you’re going through hell, don’t stop. Midlife crisis can hit women too—face it with grace.

Life lessons from older women
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Good Company

From now on, your friendships matter even more. Nurture these bonds and make time for your friends, no matter how busy life gets.

Preparation

Doctors often know surprisingly little about menopause, so start learning early to be ready when it arrives. Don’t let your symptoms be dismissed—keep seeking a professional who takes you seriously. And one more thing: ditch uncomfortable high heels and invest in quality, comfy shoes.

Avoid Toxic Dependencies

Don’t start or stay in a relationship where your partner drinks or struggles with any harmful addiction. At this stage, the chance of recovery is slim and it will only drag you down. Move on—you deserve better.

Safety Net

Always have your own money, job, or business—something to rely on if things go south. Life can throw unexpected curveballs, so be prepared. A friend of mine raised three kids and had no job when her husband suddenly announced he wanted a divorce after 20 years—she barely survived on the small settlement. My sister fled her abusive husband with just a bag of clothes and had to start over from scratch. Even if your marriage is good, have a Plan B. I was widowed at 47 when my husband died in an accident. Just two weeks earlier, I attended the funeral of my neighbor, who died of cancer at 48 within two months. His wife is lost—she has to sell the house because she can’t maintain it and has no clue what to do with his business since she was never involved.

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