Men open up about the small ways they initiate sex with their partners.
Chores
It’s really simple! Since wives often don’t feel like sex because they’re tired, the key is to lighten their workload. (Honestly, every husband should do this without any ulterior motive…) I send her a message saying I’ll handle the shopping and cook dinner that day. While cooking, I wash the dishes and keep the kitchen tidy. I take out the trash and load the dishwasher after we eat. When I take this much off her plate, she’s way more likely to have the energy to cuddle up with me.
Kind Words
Women love compliments, but the secret is to keep them genuine. That means not saying she looks good when she’s clearly exhausted, but telling her she’s still the most beautiful to me even when she hasn’t had enough rest. I don’t say she’s pretty when she’s cleaning in a t-shirt and sweatpants, but I do mention that no matter what she wears, she looks absolutely stunning. Instead of saying "I love you, honey" for the thousandth time, I thank her for being such an amazing mom to our kids. When a woman knows you still find her sexy and desirable after all these years, it sparks desire in her.
Experiences
I book a table at a nice restaurant, take her to the movies, or maybe the theater. Sometimes I surprise her with concert tickets. These are perfect chances to dress up a bit, and when she feels pretty, she’s much more in the mood for intimacy.
Straight to the Point
I ask if she wants to shower together and happily wash her back. A shared shower is a perfect foreplay. If she’s not in the mood, I don’t push it.
The Kids
I take care of the kids so we have time for intimacy. I pick them up from school, help the little one with homework, send them to bathe, then read a story. I get the older one to turn off the computer and head to bed with a bit of dad’s firm hand. Once they’re both asleep, the “good dad” snuggles up to his grateful wife. It doesn’t work every time, but at least it gives me a chance.
Surprises
Small thoughtful gestures go a long way. A few flowers, her favorite chocolates (just because), sexy lingerie from her favorite brand, a bracelet—these let her know I’m thinking of her during the day, and she’ll think of me at night.
Scheduling
I ask her to set a time. This might make some guys scoff, but it works. I get that she’s busy, tired at night, and has a crazy day ahead. So I tell her I miss her body and ask when she’d like to cuddle. That way, we both can prepare and everyone’s happy.
Touch
I hug her, kiss her—really long and deeply—and ask if she wants to have a date with me in the bedroom.
Message
During the day, I send her a message just to say she’s on my mind. It doesn’t have to be sexual—just knowing she’s thought of is enough. When she comes out of the shower, I ask her not to put on pajamas but to lie next to me naked (I’m not wearing clothes either). She’s been mine since she was 20 (now 17 years), and I still go crazy for her.
Early Bird
The early bird catches the gold. Fellow men often mess up by not “setting the stage.” I start winning my wife over the day before because I know women aren’t as spontaneous as we men. A little early charm always works wonders.
