The selfish, empathy-lacking behavior of someone with narcissistic personality disorder shows up in every area of life.
Shattered
I had just finished my first truly successful ceramic piece. I asked him not to enter the kitchen because I was afraid he’d knock it over. He went in anyway, knocked it over, and my work broke into a thousand tiny pieces. When I cried, he "comforted" me by saying it was my fault for putting it in the wrong place and also that "it was ugly anyway."
Holidays
On birthdays or Christmas, he always picked fights with me just so he could later say I ruined the celebration. Once, I gifted him a studio visit and paid for his tattoo, but I couldn’t go because that afternoon my dad had a stroke and was rushed to the hospital by ambulance. When I called from the hospital that evening to say Dad was going to survive, he just said, "Fine, then transfer me the tattoo money."
Mocked
Whenever I shared any plan, dream, or wish, he always mocked me. "You want to travel to Jordan? That’s nonsense, it’s just sand there. You want to be a chief accountant? Good luck, you won’t make it. You want a new Fiat 500? Typical crappy car that only dumb women like."
Jealousy
He wasn’t just jealous of every other man — without reason — but also of my successes. One day I came home excited to tell him I got promoted, and he just rolled his eyes. He couldn’t stand that I achieved something on my own and had to spoil my joy.
Intrigue
He regularly told me what his friends supposedly said about me (all negative), then acted surprised when I didn’t want to meet them. Of course, he kept persuading or blackmailing me until I went with him, and he enjoyed watching me tense up all evening because who wants to be friendly with people you know dislike you? At home, I’d get scolded for not being nicer to his friends. Looking back, maybe his friends never said anything about me — he just made it up to stir trouble…
The Envious One
On my birthday, I could see he was suffering while I unwrapped wonderful gifts from my family — and on the way home, he provoked a fight to make sure I didn’t have a carefree day. Once at a fair, we played a silly tossing game that I won, and my prize was a plush bunny. He praised me for being good, but I knew trouble was coming: on the way home, he "accidentally" dropped the bunny into a puddle.
Playing the Sick Role
He regularly had headaches, sore throats, and aches multiple times a month, and I had to jump around him like a nurse. In the three years we were together, I was sick only once and asked him to pick up a package for me at a parcel point. He promised but didn’t go, so the package — a wedding anniversary gift for my parents — was returned.
No Rest
He knew I was a light sleeper and struggled with insomnia. Whenever he felt I wasn’t behaving as he expected, he punished me by deliberately waking me up. Not openly, but disguised as accidents — flushing the toilet on purpose, rattling glasses, or slamming doors. He knew if I woke up, I wouldn’t fall back asleep for hours.
The Protector?
He never stood by me; in every argument, he took everyone else’s side, always.
Speed
He regularly tormented me by provoking fights in the car and driving dangerously while yelling. I tried to act like I didn’t care, but then he’d speed or pull reckless stunts that made me scream and beg him to stop. In those moments, I gave in to everything just to calm him down and get him to ease off the gas.
